Sunday, August 19, 2012

7 types of mom I DON’T want to be…updated

Well, I was afraid of turning into these 7 types of moms. I thought I’d give an update on how I’m doing.

#1 The Serious Mom

I don’t know if I’m any more serious, but it’s possible. When you’re sleep-deprived, it’s a natural tendency. Although I’m happy to report that Ryder is sleeping from 8-2 pretty regularly. He even slept 8 hours the other night. It’s not anything I’m doing, I don’t think. He’s just a good little sleeper. I try to keep a dark room so he knows it’s nighttime…I sing him the same lullaby every night (Good night, Ryder…it’s time to go to sleep. Mommy loves the baby, Daddy loves the baby, Mommy loves the baby, but it’s time to go to sleep"). I’m really glad we’re achieving this without a schedule because I realized, Jacob and I aren’t scheduled people. We like to be spontaneous. I also like having him sleep right next to me (see #2).  We’ll see how Ryder does after the time change when we move to New Zealand next month.


One thing’s for sure, I am definitely more sentimental. I almost cried when he got his vaccinations and his breath was taken away from the pain so he couldn’t even scream. I told Jacob before I had the baby that I was not a fan of baby talk and I intended to speak to him normally. Guess who spends all day goo goo-ing and gah gah-ing?

#2 The Worrywart

I do have random fears now. Like I have this weird idea that someone was going to snatch and grab him from me in Mexico. I think that’s because that happened to my phone there though. My other compulsion is to constantly check his breathing while he is sleeping. Other than that, I think I am pretty laid back as a mom.

#3 The Easily Offended Mom

I don’t mind advice still, but in Mexico they have something they do that I don’t agree with and they are kind of over the top about. “Tapalo!” they shout, which means, cover him up! They carry their babies around in papoose looking things and you can see their hair is smeared with sweat. When Jacob and I went to a Mexican family’s ranch this last weekend, Ryder was crying his normal “I’m tired and about to go to sleep cry” as I held him in my arms. One of the women marched in, took him and said his problem was that he was cold. When I returned to the room a few minutes later, 5 Mexican women were tiptoeing out of the room, saying, “he’s asleep!” I entered to find Ryder wrapped in a thick blanket with a hat on his head and lying on top of a huge fuzzy stuffed dog. This in a room without a fan where I personally was already sweating. Ryder was squirming with his eyes closed. I had to rearrange him, of course. I doubt those women knew or would have even cared about current SIDS recommendations (no hat while sleeping, use a fan, etc.) Mexicans think every problem with the baby has to do with being cold, and so I just couldn’t take them seriously.

#4 The Mommy War Participant

Fortunately I haven’t felt any pressure from my mothering skills except for one day when Ryder was crying. He’d been upset the whole weekend and groaning in his sleep. I’ve since read that all babies get colicky between 6-8 weeks and it’s just part of their growing pains. For Ryder it was more like 5-7 weeks where he was crying more than usual. Anyway we were at a friend’s house and I was about to go feed him and a lady with many kids told me: “No! He is not hungry!” and she took him and held him in the colic position, belly down on the arm, which he seemed to like because he stopped crying. It shook my confidence a little to see her step in like that, but then I decided that just because I am Ryder’s mom, doesn’t mean I will always be so in tune with him that I can read his mind, and as a new mom there will be plenty of things I still have to figure out.   I think he has the cutest little frown in the whole world:025

#5 The Relinquish My Dreams Mom

I had no idea I would end up with a baby that prefers to be out and about rather than home. That is an amusing turn of events, because I am a homebody in the sense that I spend a lot of time at home even though we travel, and Ryder prefers the motion and noise of being outside. I’ve taken him with me everywhere in my Boba sling002—to Lucha Libre, the movies, Frida Kahlo and Leon Trotsky’s house, restaurants, even on the plane and he is pretty good. I still break out in a cold sweat when we’re in a public place and he starts to get fussy, but for the most part I feel like he is on his best behavior when other people are around. Here he is just chilling on my lap as I watched a movie:018

#6 The Dud

The first time I spent away from the baby was to go get my hair dyed. I requested blonde and they dyed it red; I went and got it redone and it still has orange streaks. I guess Mexicans don’t do blonde. Anyway, I think I’m managing this one pretty well, although I have yet to get back into my regular workouts. I still want to lose 5-10 more pounds.

#7 The Conditionally-Loving Guilt-Tripping Mom

What’s not to love about a two month old baby? I do love him more than words can say. When he smiles at me I think, “ if I died right now with him looking at me like that, I would be happy.” I am a much better person to him than comes naturally to me.  Did I really think that I would be an exception to what evolution has developed to further and protect the species—mother instinct? Nevertheless I continue to be surprised how much I dote on this little boy. He is so much fun and I have a hard time believing what everyone says, that it gets more and more fun with time. He is the sweetest little baby and I love every minute.


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