Nomadic Entrepreneurs

Boy or Girl?

2012-01-07T20:17:00.001-08:00

We’re finding out the gender of the baby Monday. I’ve taken quizzes to see what it will be. Jacob says that it’s silly, but I told him it’s just for fun, of course!

So, here are some common clues and how I answer them:

Morning Sickness:

I was shocked to have almost no morning sickness, just exhaustion. I was sure, with my predilection for food poisoning and a weak stomach for roller coasters and boat rides, I would have a lot. You hear that the more you have, the healthier the baby, so it worried me. But, I only got sick once. Conventional wisdom says this means it’s a: BOY.

Cravings:

I have not had “cravings.” I think those are imaginary. I have wanted foods that I have always liked, such as pickles and sunflower seeds and cereal. But I have leaned more towards fruit and sweets than usual,

which dictates GIRL. However, it would be strange in any event if I craved meat (which points to a boy.) I have bought about 10 cheesestick packages (more protein = BOY) at 16 pieces a package. We should’ve taken a picture.

Heartbeat:

At our nine week appointment, the baby’s heart was 180 beats per minute, which is very, very fast. GIRL.

My appearance:

I have never felt more lovely and womanly, even with my belly. That points to BOY, because a girl is said to steal your beauty.

My age + the month I conceived…

is an odd number. GIRL.

I can’t do the wedding ring trick because I stopped wearing it long ago. Most of the world doesn’t wear a diamond on their finger wherever they go. It’s in a safety deposit box. One day, I’ll wear it again…

Jacob and I’s last “vacation” without kids, with Jacob’s parents on a cruise to Alaska.

So based on these predictions, anyone want to hazard a guess? What will we have, a mini Jacob or a mini Kalli?

2011’s New Years Resolutions

2011-12-29T16:27:00.001-08:00

Here’s an overview of how my goals for this year turned out:

I didn’t double my blog followers. However, I got a new site up and running here.

I didn’t make it out to New Caledonia. However, I think I went in French comprehension from a 1 to a 3 or 4 by the time we left Guadeloupe in the Caribbean. Not too bad for just 6 weeks.

I didn’t get abs. However, I did do my first pushup and got into the best shape of my life.

Most importantly, I didn’t have to get more excited about having a baby than traveling, because we’ve decided to do both. Baby is due June 5th-ish. I’m already almost halfway there. We’re having the baby here in Mexico City and then hope to continue our lifestyle with baby in tow. We find out the gender in 2 weeks.

SURPRISE!!!!

My Response to the “Should Christian Women Wear Bikinis” Video

2011-11-28T22:47:00.001-08:00

A certain video has taken the Mormon Facebook world by storm.

What I mean is, it has been posted and reposted by both men and women alike, but they have all been LDS, at least on my Facebook wall.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only Mormon feminist in the world. I know I’m not, it just feels that way at times. Then I remember that, thank God, I know another one-- I’m married to a Mormon feminist. Yes, my husband and I have an egalitarian marriage where we share what we feel is equal responsibility at work and at home—and I’m sure the trend will continue in the future raising of our children. I’m so grateful to have a man who is comfortable enough with his own masculinity to respect decisions I make on my femininity, even if he also, of course, has opinions of his own.

The Youtube video is called, “Should Christian Women Wear Bikinis?”

It’s a video given by a Christian preacher to a crowd of high school girls.

When I saw the video for the first time, I left this comment on Youtube, which will give a hint of how I felt about it:

So a one piece swimsuit doesn't cause the same reaction?... Somehow I doubt it. I think Muslims use this same argument on why they should cover. Men telling women what they should wear. Women having to take responsibility for men's reactions. That's so medieval.

I’ve been meaning to do a post on modesty for a long time, because my opinion of it, like so many other things, has been changed by travel. This video, and people’s responses, jumpstarted this post.

So I’m going to deconstruct the video bit by bit, showcasing why I have a problem with it, and why, if you believe in gender equality, you should too.

Issue #1: Because the word “science” was used, people assumed this was proof.

Reality: The science of the study was twisted to be used for this Christian preacher’s purposes. The women’s heads were cut off. This does not imply a real-life situation in any way. There were only 21 men in the study, all from the same socio economic background. This sampling is NEVER big enough to be an interesting study. It’s smaller than a high school class. We don’t know anything about the pictures: the postures of the women, the size of the swim suits, etc. We don’t know if the men were married. If they’d ever had girlfriends. If they were addicted to pornography. Why they volunteered for the survey. If they’d drank any alcohol before the test. If they were carpenters (and therefore with extremely developed parts of the brain devoted to “tool use” -can you catch my irony here?) If the women were supermodel-esque attractive or morbidly obese.

All of that is irrelevant in the end, though, because:

In any event, the speaker completely skewed the findings.

Here are the findings:

"Although men and women were, in general, slightly

faster to pair images of sexualized female targets with

first-person action verbs (e.g., push) and clothed female

targets with third-person action verbs (e.g., pushes) than

the inverse, the difference between the two pairings was

not significant for either sample"

and this seemed to be more frequent among the men who already scored higher in the "Hostile Sexism Score" ...

In other words, the findings were not statistically significant. So, actually, men were NOT more likely to objectify them.

IF YOU MISSED IT, LET ME PUT IT IN ALL CAPS: THIS STUDY DID NOT SHOW MEN OBJECTIFY WOMEN FOR WEARING BIKINIS. IT SHOWED THE RESULTS WERE STATISTICALLY INSIGNIFICANT.

The only ones who had the tendency were the ones who identified themselves as “hostile sexist.”

I sincerely hope that is not most of the LDS men I know. Although an awfully large amount of them seemed to resonate with the findings.

The preacher basically misled people in the video, and the study was flawed. People get so excited when they hear the words “scientific study” that coincides with beliefs they already have that they don’t think to deconstruct it and look at the method of the study. However, although in my mind that’s enough to conclude my case, this is an important subject to discuss so I’ll keep going.

Issue #2: There is often a double standard within religious communities.

I’m only speaking from personal experience here, but:

How many lessons have Mormon men had on modesty?

I’m guessing exactly zero.

How many lessons on how women should be respected as human beings no matter how they dress?

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think not many.

How many lessons do LDS young women get on modesty?

Answer: probably weekly.

How many lessons have I been taught that women are in charge of men’s sexuality and it is up to us to say “stop” because men can’t control themselves?

I don’t know-- I’ve been told that on many occasions.

How many studies have you seen or heard looking to see if women objectify men?

Personally, I’d welcome them. But it’s always the other way around.

How many LDS people would post a video about women objectifying men and men dressing immodestly that would go viral?

Somehow, I don’t see that even reaching most people’s radar.

Issue #3: There’s a reason why so many Muslims loved this video.

If you look at the comments in Youtube, a good part of them are Muslims saying this is exactly why they hijab, or wear burkas.

Countries whose official religion is Islam do not have the best record on women’s rights issues. In fact, the women in strictly conservative Muslim countries are among the least free in the world. According to studies, the worst are Benin, Pakistan, Chad, and Yemen. All practice Islam with the exception of Benin, which practices voodoo. I don’t think that has to be true, mind you. I see it in the world’s future to have much freer women--everywhere. I love to visit predominantly Muslim countries— and personally I believe that no religion is closer to Mormonism than Islam. Nevertheless, in my mind it’s not a good sign when you have Muslims agreeing that “this is exactly why we tell women to dress the way we do.”

Issue #4: Women only wear bikinis or other kinds of similar dress to try to become a sex object.

Reality: This is a myth.

Women may wear bikinis because they are more comfortable to swim in, because it’s the style, because that’s the cultural expectation where they live, because that’s what their husband likes them to wear, because they love their bodies, because they are beautiful and look good in them, because it is difficult to find another swimming suit that fits correctly, to avoid tan lines, or many other reasons. If we all understand that, then we don’t all have to have a whore complex when we see women dressed differently than our standards.

Issue #5: It is bad for a man to find a woman sexually attractive.

Reality: This is wrong. It is completely normal for a man to find a woman sexually attractive. And vice versa. Weird idea, I know. What is not okay is to treat a woman or a man disrespectfully because of the way they are dressed. Fact: Women are beautiful beings. There is nothing shameful about that.

Issue #6: The video only mentioned women in bikinis. Not women in one piece swimming suits.

Reality: Do you think men are still sexually attracted to women in one piece swimming suits? Let me drop a hint—they are. There are plenty of Swimsuit Illustrated editions of sexy women in one piece swimming suits. Does that mean that it’s still okay for men to objectify women, and that it’s the women’s fault?

Issue # 7: One piece swimming suits are also revealing.

Reality: They are as revealing as some lingerie. So, do men who agree with this video believe women should stop wearing one piece swimming suits, which look like lingerie? If they do…then they can go hide their heads in the sand. Women, in this day and age, should not be expected to swim in jeans and a t- shirt.

Issue # 8: The message of this video is not the best way to get girls to be modest.

Reality: Many women will like the idea that they can be empowered by making men in their control by using their bodies. The most important part of modesty, for both men and women, is to teach themselves to respect their bodies and the feelings of those who are around them. To teach them that being comfortable in their own skin in the most important lesson of all. Guilt is not needed to do that. Shame is not needed to do that. Blame is not needed to do that. Teaching appropriate clothes for appropriate situations will do that. Teaching appropriate and modest behavior given the situation at hand will do that. A bikini is not appropriate to wear to the office. I believe it can be appropriate to wear on the beaches of Europe when 2,000 other women and girls are all wearing the same thing (or less, for that matter). The message of modesty is not bad. Of course it isn’t. The way it is taught, though, is often demeaning and unfair. The emphasis on external, clothing-oriented modesty is just another form of sexualization.

Issue # 9: Women (shocker) get sexually aroused by men as well.

Reality: If this were not true, there would not be so many ads with shirtless men on them. I’m not so naïve as to not know that -overall- men are more visually stimulated than women. Although I have known my share of very sexualized women. But that leads me to my next point:

Issue # 10: Men who are attracted to other men are never considered.

Reality: Can you imagine a religious lesson in which boys were taught: be careful the way you dress or homosexual men will lust after you? It would disgust and shame most men. Yet women have to listen to lessons like this on a regular basis. What if a woman told men, “Don’t take your shirts off, or you will become walking pornography to struggling homosexual men.” It is never said, but is it not equally true? Women don’t deserve to be made to feel dirty for being attractive and sexy. Or, put another way, if they deserve it, men deserve it too.

Issue #11: This idea is behind “rape culture.”

It’s harmful to young women to be saddled with not only their own growing and changing bodies, developing sexuality, and insecurities, but also with the responsibility not to tempt boys and men. Not only responsible for lustful thoughts, but for rape. It’s harmful for young men as well. Males should not be taught they are helpless victims simply responding to messages they think females are sending by their choice of clothing. Taken a little further, this kind of psychology leads to the justification of sexual assault. We should take care to steer clear of this kind of thinking in society. This, sociologists would agree, is part of rape culture.

Issue # 12: Modesty is cultural, and it changes over time.

Reality: Modesty, and how it is enforced, is not an eternal truth. Ankles used to be scandalous. If you sexualize arms and say they always have to be covered, arms will become shocking if exposed.

Issue # 13: Sexuality’s perception is cultural.

There are many examples of women within indigenous societies that wear even less than what the bikini covers; if there were a study on their men's brains as well I think the response would be completely different for how they view near naked women compared to extremely conservative religious societies. Many other societies compared to the US allow women to breastfeed in public with no outrage because it is not sexualized to feed a baby. Concepts of sexuality are entirely dependent on society. What if we were all raised to look at human beings with an artist’s eye, appreciating their beauty without sexualizing them? Maybe we should all take a “life drawing” class where we have to draw women and men naked. I don’t think it would take too long to learn to control the primitive response and just get to drawing. Even BYU, amazingly, has a class where women pose in bikinis and students draw them.

Is this not why we can look at great, classical art of nude subjects and not feel that it is pornography? It’s because we’ve desexualized them, and reemphasized their beauty and the talent of their creator.

Issue # 14: Gender equality has a long way to go in the US.

Reality: We are ranked #17 in the world. #19 in other studies. Not bad overall, but terrible for developed countries. We moved up from #31 just this last year. We must be making progress. Of course this doesn’t have to do with bikinis directly, but it does apply to gender equality overall. One of the first cultural differences I noticed when I lived in Europe for the first time as a 20 year old college student was how Europeans found violence shocking and no clothes acceptable, whereas Americans find no clothes shocking but violence acceptable. European women have more freedom and less crime perpetrated against them than American women as a general rule. I prefer their mode of thinking.

Issue #15: Here is a response from someone on Facebook, I will address his questions in red:

I found some of the comments interesting. I'm sorry, but some responsibility is on the woman as well as the men.

Totally agree. I think in issues like these, it’s fair to give 50-50 responsibility. This video did not give 50-50 responsibility. It was 100-0.

To suggest that it's completely the man's fault, is like demanding someone not to swear around you when you, yourself, continuously expose them to foul language. Also, please realize that what you wear does have some effect on how you act.
I'm some what astounded by the cry of sexism, though. If the study demanded that all women must not wear bikinis and men are at no fault what-so-ever, then sure it's sexist.

It is a man telling a large group of teenaged girls they *should not* wear bikinis if they are true Christians, shaming women for a personal decision. I could find nothing in it that said men had any responsibility. So yes, it is sexist.

But if it comes across as a warning that wearing such outfits may arose certain thoughts in men, then where's the sexism?

It doesn’t come across as a warning—it is stated not only as science, but as an inescapable conclusion. Men—all men, not just “hostile sexist ones” which technically was the findings of the survey, will not be able to help themselves.

Especially today when so many women are taken advantage of and when society--sadly to say--paints women as objects.

If women are taken advantage of, it is in societies which women do not have equal freedoms, equal rights, and which shame women into being modest. In societies where women are completely free, they have less crimes perpetrated against them, they experience less violence, and they are happier. Think Europe versus the Middle East.

And as Carric pointed out, they said women might be effected the same way as well and they plan to do the same study with women.

Great. I hope it goes viral like this one did within the Mormon community. Of course, if the findings were the same the findings would be that there was not statistical significance, which would be quite boring.

Would you find the findings more truthful--or not complain--if they came from women running the same experiment?

I certainly think that the video—forget about the experiment, which was flawed anyway—would have been more truthful if both genders were being examined, if a woman was giving the lecture as well, and if men were present as well.

Should I cry sexism, if a women tells me how a man should treat women?

You should cry sexism when genders are not treated fairly, one way or the other.

Would you be okay with a man getting scantily clad women tattoos? He's "wearing" what he wants.

Yes, I would be okay with a man getting those tattoos. Why would I care? It has absolutely nothing to do with me. Just don’t tell me it’s my fault he got the tattoos.

I guess I'm tired of quick cries of discrimination, when there might not be any.

What makes you assume the cries are quick? I ended up reading every comment on every posting of this video, researching the man who made the video, and reading the entire survey which is more than most people did who have posted this video.

Plus, I don't expose any part of my male organs, so I think it's fair for me to say that women probably shouldn't expose themselves.

Wearing a bikini is not “exposing female organs” any more than wearing a Speedo is. Or the fact that men swim shirtless. I’ll be waiting for the shirtless and/or Speedo Study. An unbiased one.

CONCLUSION: Until I traveled, I thought it was fair to think of girls who wore short skirts as skanks. Why? Because I was socialized that way. Then I lived in two different extremes. I spent about six months in the Middle East. I’ve spent nearly a year in Europe. The difference of being a woman between these two is so incredible I can’t even begin to explain. I was verbally assaulted in Egypt just because I didn’t have a headscarf on. (I was already very conservatively dressed.) Probably, to be honest, just because I was a woman. I was followed around and told: “I want to f*** you. How much do you charge?” I was told by fellow women that they are used to it over there and you just have to learn to put up with it. I didn’t like walking alone there because I got far too much attention. Women in these kind of places have to cover their skin from head to toe. I did, while I was there. And these ideas reinforce themselves. Women think they have to dress that way or men can’t help themselves; they’ll molest them—and it will be the woman’s fault. And men feel justified that if a woman is dressed differently than what he is used to, she is asking for trouble.

In Europe these days, a woman can wear whatever she wants and she won’t even get a second glance. No one will bother her. Men and women are free to dress according to the dictates of their own conscience. And I can tell you there that a large majority of women, LDS or not, wear bikinis and a large majority of men, LDS or not, wear Speedos. And guess what. People get over it. It’s fine.

The next time you see a woman dressed in a way which you feel is scantily, say a quick prayer to God thanking Him you live in a free society where women aren’t killed, raped, or stoned for not conforming to unequal laws that men have created.

I could keep going, but this post is long enough. I’m going to breathe easier after I post this, though. It’s distressing for me to see so many LDS people reposting this when its message is damaging, unfair, and dishonest. Let me know: do you agree?

And by the way, although this disclaimer isn’t necessary, I personally don’t prefer to wear bikinis. (Although I do at times because my husband likes me to-- he thinks I look good in them.) But I’ll defend my right to wear them with every feminist breath of my modestly dressed body.

I welcome your comments. Just so you know, my husband agrees with me. So this isn’t just a woman talking on this subject.

A New Website Home

2011-11-28T14:59:00.001-08:00

Well, I don’t know how to forward these posts to portableprofessionals.com, so I am just going to post them here and there. I’ve finally moved all my old posts to the new site, so let me know what you think.

If you “like” Portable Professionals on Facebook, you’ll receive blog updates from there. You can like it here: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Portable-Professionals/223492284359182

You can also click the facebook box, or the RSS feed box to receive updates to your blog reader (these are found on the left side of portableprofessionals.com). I don’t have too many Youtube video or Twitter updates at this point. I really like the way the site looks. I’m ready to start posting more and being more active in the blogging world than I have been for the last few months.

17 Reasons TO live in America

2011-11-16T19:56:00.001-08:00

I follow the blog of this Irish guy who wrote an ebook on learning languages. I met him briefly in Vancouver. He goes on three month language “missions” where he becomes conversational, even fluent, in the language by the end of the mission. His ideas are good, but nothing radical from what Jacob tells me (Jacob, of course, is a genius at learning languages.)

He wrote a scathing article about why he would never want to live in America. I'm fine dishing it out about my own country, but when someone else does it I feel the need to defend it. Especially since the reasons he lists are quite asinine, in my opinion. It’s gotten quite a lot of attention, especially from fawning I-hate-America Americans.So here are 17 reasons to live in America. You can read the original article here:

http://www.fluentin3months.com/no-usa-for-me/

1. Americans are becoming minority friendly. America is making progress when it comes to political correctness. Yes, we're sensitive and probably over-the-top at times—but we're leading the way in changing the way minorities are spoken about. The civil rights movement was such a short time ago. We still have a long way to go but the fact that we're concerned about it is a huge step forward. Plus we’re super conscious on creating user-friendly things for people with disabilities.
2. Americans are endearingly optimistic, if maybe slightly naïve. I'm grateful for the can-do attitude Americans have.
3. Americans have the best smiles in the world, thanks to excellent dental work and oral hygiene. I'm really grateful to have had braces (thanks Mom). Braces are basically not seen anywhere else. No wonder we’re smiley! (This American has my favorite smile.)

4. Yes it's annoying the way waiters love to take your plate away before you're finished. Yet, universally Jacob and I have missed getting constant drink refills and not having to wave the waiter over if you need the check. Customer service in America, as far as convenience goes, is top-notch.
5. The prices for technology and other high end products are the lowest anywhere we've been—since a lot of them are produced in America and then exported elsewhere.
6. You can buy anything you want in the US. Anything. Whether it's online or thrift stores or Louis Vuitton, there's such a fantastic range of products as specific as you could ever want, and you'll be able to find it in the price range that you want too, and there will be competing products even within a niche market.
7. He thinks it's wasteful the way people upgrade to the next technology product. I think that's simply ignorant. I'm married to a chronic technology upgrader, and is it any surprise that he also is a technology creator? The US is a leader in technology, obviously. I don't see any major breakthroughs coming from Ireland. Maybe you should think about upgrading your devices.
8. Americans welcome outsiders. For the most part. The US accepts more immigrants than the rest of the countries put together.

9. Americans are a proud people. While of course it can go too far, people need to have pride in their heritage and Americans do. Plus I think we celebrate holidays dang well.
10. If you like to cook, I can't imagine a better country to live in than America. The grocery stores are the biggest, there are specialty shops even in the smallest of towns, and even the poorer people's houses have fantastically large kitchens. You can cook Thai, Indian, Chinese, or Mexican food easily.
11. As an atheist, he was annoyed at the religious fervor of Americans. I can see how that would be difficult, but at the same time there are plenty of atheists in America. Every religion is well represented in the US. It's just one more way that the US has these sort of niche specialties. It can be nice, I think. For example I thought it would be nice to visit a Universal Unitarian church. There are none here in Mexico City. You can bet there are in the major cities of the US. It's a measure of US diversity, although of course the majority of people are Evangelical or Protestant Christian. Here Jacob, Grandpa Campbell, and I are at an LDS historical monument in the Midwest.

12. I love Walmart. As soon as I got to Mexico City I visited Walmart. I visited it four times in two weeks. Three different ones. It’s a little ghetto here compared to the American version but it’s better than nothing. It's really easy to dis on corporations until you never have access to them.
13. Okay, the no public transportation thing is a real downer, I'll be the first to agree with that. But on the bright side, there's gas stations with free bathrooms and drinking fountains wherever you are.
14. Efficiency is a value of Americans. Like any value, it can be taken too far—and I certainly used to take it too far, as do others as is evidenced by the high level of stress-related illnesses—but there's no denying that Americans accomplish more in their day than the majority of people around the world. Their methods of increasing efficiency, like in Cheaper By the Dozen, have increased efficiency for other people around the world as well.
15. Hobbies. In America, you have the space, the time, the materials and the means to practice whatever hobby you want. Woodworking, horse riding, piano, jumping higher, quilting...Americans by and large will each of them have a passion—a real obsession with a subject that makes for interesting and skillful people. If you happen to have a hobby for house decorating, which I obviously don't, but if you do I can't imagine a better place to do it than the US. Plus the US is the ideal place for a developing athlete.

16. The best foodie scene in the world. You can get any kind of food even in small towns. Yes there's fast food too. But I don't blame Americans for having trouble with their weight. Food in America is plentiful and it's good. This picture is actually Egyptian food, but you know you can find that in the US too.

17. Americans are entrepreneurs. We are individualists, and we see problems and create solutions for them. So many of the traveling location independent people in the world today whose blogs I follow are Americans. I don’t think that it’s a coincidence. I think being American is ideal for helping people to become self-sufficient (another American value), free, and choosing your own path. Here’s the owner of Bioletics, a company that tests your vitamins in your blood for athletes. We met him in Bend, Oregon.

So...how's that for a dose of positivity on America from this now three year abroad expat :) (Three years ago this week we arrived in Heiligenhaus, Germany…the start of our adventure. Times have changed since then!) Happy Thanksgiving! We'll be eating it with another LDS family here in Mexico City. Woo hoo!

Veteran’s Day

2011-11-11T18:39:00.001-08:00

Dear veterans,

Thank you for ~~dying for~~

~~killing for~~

surviving those wars you fought for me?

Because I think differently on this subject than most Americans, I’m choosing to share my thoughts. Before I get started, though, let me just say that I have veterans and soldiers in my family, and among my friends. I believe they are brave and desire the best for America. It is the system—the US governmental system, the US value system, the US propaganda system (the media)—which I am speaking about, not the soldiers themselves. Please don’t read further if this subject is too sensitive for you. If, however, you’re interested… let me ask a few questions.

Fill in the blank:

Indians value spirituality, therefore their most respected members of society are spiritual gurus. They have a history of producing spiritual leaders such as Gandhi.

Irish value literacy, therefore their most respected members of society are writers. They have a history of producing famous authors such as Oscar Wilde.

Austrians value classical art, therefore their most respected members of society are classical musicians and artists. They have a history of producing some of the most beloved musicians such as Mozart.

Americans value _________, therefore their most respected members of society are soldiers. They have a history of entering conflicts around the globe—a conflict per decade in the last century—and winning, or at least not losing.

(Obviously each country has more than one value and more than one type of hero. I venture to say, however, that in America no other group gets as much honoring as veterans and soldiers.)

Most Americans would fill in the _______ with freedom. I’m not saying that’s not the answer. I’m just saying to think carefully before assuming that.

Let me explain.

Many Americans believe theirs is the most free country in the world. This is not based on facts—it’s more based on history, because it WAS the most free country in the world. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still free. But so are many countries these days, some debatably MORE free. Look at these stats, which rate the US as the 19th most free in individual freedoms: http://www.stateofworldliberty.org/report/rankings.html or the 9th most free when it comes to economic freedoms: http://www.heritage.org/index/ Why is this distinction important? Because other countries, which are as or more free than the US, do not have strong militaries nor do they enter into wars with the frequency that Americans do. Countries such as Switzerland and Singapore.

Yet they are free.

And conversely, of course, some countries have very strong militaries (the next strongest after ours is China’s) which are certainly not free.

So in my mind, fighting wars and supporting the military is not equal to valuing freedom.

Especially because, of any value I have, I think freedom is the highest. There is nothing I value more than my freedom. Maybe my family, I suppose. Anyway, freedom—free agency in Mormon lingo—is the most Godlike quality on earth. I just don’t believe that my freedom is bought with human blood on a regular basis. Nor, even more to the point, do I want it to be. I don’t want anyone to kill for me. I don’t even want anyone to die for me. And, what most Americans don’t seem to understand: it’s not necessary for anyone to die or to kill for you. If I became Canadian, or Estonian, or Swedish—no one would be killing or dying for me, and I would still be free.

This is not a statement most Americans are ready to hear, but:

I believe military worship is the single largest problem in America today- therefore, it is the single largest reason why I do not totally identify myself with Americans.

Here are the reasons why I believe military worship is dangerous:

1. The military is causing our financial problems. More precisely, the longest wars in history are causing our economic problems. These wars will continue as long as Americans allow them to. They are drawing Americans into an economic sinkhole.

2. Honoring institutional violence (i.e., killing in the name of the government) is sure to foster local violence. Take a look at America’s school shootings in comparison to other countries. Or its homicide rate. America’s value system says “mess with the best, die like the rest.”

America is a violent country in comparison to other developed countries. I believe this is rooted in its honoring institutional violence in the form of the military, government-sanctioned torture, and the death penalty. Our policies in these subjects would cause outrage, not worshipful respect, in more peaceful countries.

3. War begets more war. Despite the war on drugs, drug use in America has gone up dramatically in the last 25 years. A country which is constantly at war against something eventually turns into that which it wars against.

4. It promotes American superiority. If wars are always justified, and we’re always right, then someone else in the world is wrong. Wrong enough to be killed. More than someone. Millions of someones. And the dead Americans mourn are never foreign dead, only American dead. As someone who has lived among and loved so many different people of so many different backgrounds, this of all ideas is the most strange. Why do we mourn deaths more because they were American? A human is a human is a human.

5. It damages our relationships with other cultures. Many, many other people around the world are dismayed at the US’s foreign policy. For example, on my favorite travel website’s summary of the US it states: Too many closed-minded independent travellers object to American foreign policy…and don't bother with it. Their loss.

I don’t expect to change anyone’s mind with this post. Patriotism in America is so intrinsically tied with the military that I can’t imagine that changing. The only way it will change is if people visit these countries that have more freedom than the US and more peace, to get that vision.

I am proud of my country. I’m not anti-American. It’s a mark of America’s great freedom of thought that I can express my views on this subject, and I don’t take that lightly. However, because I do love my country I fiercely hope that one day people could get that vision…a vision in which America could once again be the most free country in the world, and the most peaceful.

Wow...

2011-09-21T17:06:00.000-07:00

It's been a couple months since I posted.

We've been moving a lot--we've gone from moving 3 times within Vancouver, to American Fork Utah, Dallas, Austin, Dallas again, London, Paris, like 10 cities within France, Barcelona, London, New York City, Miami, St Lucia, and now...

We're here in Guadeloupe. I'm finishing up the site (I decided on portableprofessionals.com) and that will hopefully be getting moving here pretty soon. We're keeping busy with our businesses, and I'm learning some French. Jacob's playing some ball. Same old.

Still, it's like I've left the room and I haven't even come in occasionally to say hello. Sorry about that. I'm just here to tell you, Jacob and I are relaxed, comfortable, and working. We have a nice place with actually two rooms in it plus a kitchen and a washing machine, and we have two grocery stores and the biggest beach on the island within walking distance.

Don't worry though, I'll be bringing back the controversy here soon. :)

Moving

2011-07-04T21:55:00.001-07:00

Just so you know, yes we are still alive and yes we are still out of the States. We have been moving like crazy…within one month from Cairo to Dallas to Seattle to cruising in Alaska to Vancouver. We have moved beds in Vancouver 4 times and been kicked out twice because real estate is so precious here. We’re finally in an apartment and ready to do some work.

Here is our tiny tiny room with bunk beds. Jacob said it felt like we were college roommates. Jacob has devised a new system which he calls cabinets where we can hang all of our earthly possessions around the room instead of constantly burrowing through the suitcase.

Mournfully kicked out again, scrambling to find a new home.

Hooray! We found an apartment in time for Canada Day.

Vancouver is a very nice city—very easy to live. Like the US but with public transportation and less crime.

But it’s dang cold for the summer time! I miss me some Texas heat, water parks, and Otter pops.

A two way street

2011-06-29T13:30:00.001-07:00

A bigot is a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices, especially one exhibiting intolerance toward those of differing beliefs. The predominant usage in modern English refers to persons hostile to those of differing race, ethnicity, religion or spirituality…

Dear Facebook friend who posts provocative statuses and who shall remain anonymous:

This is a shot in the dark but, I’m guessing you might be so angry about opponents to gay marriage because you are secretly gay. Just so you know, if you are a closet homosexual I would not care. If you wanted to get married to a guy in New York, I would not care.

If you want to know the truth, I am happy for my other friend who lives in New York who is overjoyed at the prospect of being able to be married now…and for other friends of mine who would like to seal the deal legally but have not been able to…honestly happy for them…

I’ve been in countries where parents kill their children for being gay, such as Ethiopia…

I think that’s more sinister, obviously, than gay marriage.

***

The LDS Church has gotten a lot of flak about its stance on Proposition 8.

Personally, I find the published statement “marriage is defined as between one man and one woman” ironic since historically we are the only ones who have practiced nontraditional marriage in the US (one man married to many women), illegally to boot.

So I understand if you disagree with the traditional definition that one man and one woman makes a marriage, but…

Responding to perceived bigotry with hatred doesn’t really solve anything, does it?

I’m LDS and I would support your decision to be gay.

I’m not so sure you could say the reverse. (I’m gay and I support your decision to be LDS.)

Respectful dialogue is needed by both parties on sensitive issues.

Bigotry can be a two way street.

“Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry, and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand each other, we may even become friends.” – Maya Angelou

To be clear

2011-06-20T14:56:00.001-07:00

Because of a previous blog post, someone wrote me and said, “I have to agree with you. Blacks are cursed by God.”

Thank you for writing, so I can clear up what must have been a misunderstanding. What I said was a minister we know believes that.

I don’t.

I don’t know why Africa has so many problems, but I don’t personally believe God would curse an entire continent.

Instead I believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s, or anyone else’s, transgressions (AofF 2)

African Americans and those with dark skin around the world have proved over and over again they have equal potential of being just as successful as anyone else.

I believe in being color blind and I believe God is too. In fact, I picture Jesus as having much darker skin than is normally portrayed in paintings—after all, he was Middle Eastern.

Religion has a very sad history of reinforcing racism. I want to distance myself from that. It embarrasses me.

I do not endorse anyone who has ever stated that people with black skin are inferior, interracial marriage is sinful, or racial prejudice of any kind is acceptable.

Just to be clear.

My friend from Sudan, K.G., one of my favorite people I met in Cairo.

Happy Father's Day

2011-06-19T22:49:00.000-07:00

Let me tell you three things about my Dad that I hope I will be able to emulate as well as him one day:

Unconditional love: I know not everyone gets to experience unconditional love in their lifetimes. I know that whatever I did, my dad would love me. I could kill somebody and he would still love me. That’s very powerful. I wish that everyone could have that kind of support in their lives.

Humility: My dad might be surprised but I think of him as a humble person. He has been a wonderful influence in a lot of people’s lives and he has given generously to so many but he does it behind the scenes and without expectation in anything in return. Nor do I believe that he sees himself as special in that regard, but I do.

Soft-hearted: I love that my dad is a softie. I love that he cried with us kids when our dog died. I love that he is empathetic and kind. I believe that is why he so often is called in our church to work with widows and other people who are in rough situations. He is not quick to condemn and he is someone I could always confide in if I knew someone needed help.

Thank you Dad for your example. I hope I can be an example of these traits to others as you have done for me.

I need your feedback

2011-06-17T12:20:00.001-07:00

Please vote: Do any of these sound promising for a new travel/business website?

I’m looking to capture a crowd who wants to travel permanently and make a living—a good one, not just scraping by--while doing it. I’m going to make business cards with this website on it for every time someone asks how they can do it too. And eventually write an ebook on travel-related how-tos and sell it on the website. So with that in mind, do any of these catch your eye? Any of them seem like a bad idea? I’m open to other names too! As soon as I pick the domain, I’ll start the design and get moving so everything will be in place for the NYC internet marketing conference in August.

Redesigningtheamericandream.com

Portableprofessionals.com

Theperpetualtraveller.com

Theliberatedentrepreneurs.com

Escapingthesuburbs.com

Unfetteredentrepreneurs.com

Unshackledentrepreneurs.com

Autonomousbusiness.com

autonomouslifestyle.com

Becomingnomadic.com

Sixfigurenomads.com

Howtomakemoneyandtravel.com

Stepstolocationindependence.com

Entrepreneursinexile.com

Globetrottingguide.com

Guidetoglobetrotting.com

Sixfigureglobetrotters.com

Intentionallynomadic.com

Lifestyletravelling.com

Cravingtravel.com

Voluntaryvagabonds.com

Why visit Africa?

2011-06-15T20:59:00.001-07:00

Despite all of its problems, Africa, for me, is addicting.

I know I’ll want to come back.

Here is one reason:

When you go to Europe, everything is polished and perfect. You know exactly what to expect. You know the experience you’re going to have and nothing is going to be that bad. You’re not ever going to be in a traffic accident—not when you take the metro and not when traffic is so orderly. The worst that will happen is you will get pickpocketed, or that it will snow. You’re not going to get food poisoning. You’re not going to hold your breath as you carreen around narrow corners in an overstuffed minitaxi passenger van. The architecture will be beautiful, and people aren’t going to disturb you. Everything is going to be…perfect.

And everyone knows perfect can be boring.

Africa does its own thing and anything can happen. Whether it’s the side of the bus bursting off and falling into Jacob’s lap, or walking in a madhouse of a market where people are selling insects to eat, or experiencing overwhelming and powerful smells that have never greeted your nose before, or making friends who are sure in America there are no such things as lakes, Africa is a surprise.

I like surprises.

I like Africa.

An email from Alalegn

2011-05-28T03:27:00.001-07:00

Dear kalli

How are you? I am fin with my families. How was the tripe of Ethiopia special Lalibela?

Did you back your home? Did fine your families?

I hope you remember me very well I am alelegn you buy for me book you so kind and also your husband is kind I am pray for him to live long life .that book is good for my education and for my life

Please pass my warmest greeting to all of your family and friends

Wishing you all the best!

Please write me your current situation soon

May God be with you where ever you go!

Lots of love and peace

Your student alalegn

Greeting from Lalibela

Could it be that this kid actually is using his dictionary?? Was I being over-cynical? What do you think?

Maybe I’ll never know.

Sigh

2011-05-26T05:12:00.001-07:00

Aggravating.

That’s what it’s like to try and buy a plane ticket with Ethiopian Airlines.

It’s run by the government, which explains a lot.

I spent hours on the website, which the internet was going in and out so it couldn’t be booked and, when the page finally loaded, wouldn’t accept a credit card online. I went in 3 separate times to the office and it was frequently closed.

When I was finally able to get an agent, he booked my ticket, someone who came in after me, and someone on the phone all at the same time while his computer was going in and out of the internet network. I was just glad there was no one ahead of me in line. Nearly two hours later, I walked out the office with our tickets to Ethiopia—Lalibela in hand.

Now I have tried to book tickets out of Lalibela and back to Addis. The office, again, frequently and inconveniently closes, and the flights kept filling up. Someone from our hotel booked our flight, but neglected to tell us we had to confirm the same day, so it was cancelled. We finally have our flights booked to Addis for Thursday, but they won’t let us buy our tickets to Egypt until we get back to Addis. Because they think we need a visa. Which we don’t. It took me 45 minutes of sitting and waiting for me to be told that they weren’t going to give me a ticket. So I booked it online, then went to the office to ask them to print it out.

Then, when I went to confirm our flights just before our Thursday flight, I discovered the guy had only booked one ticket, even though Jacob was sitting next to me, and the flights were full again. I had a Home Alone mom moment.

I said quite dramatically, “I don’t care if I have to sit in the bathroom, in the aisle, or on Jacob’s lap, I want to get out of this city. Find me a seat. My husband and I are not going to travel on different days. And we have to get out of here.”

The worker, after searching the computer for about 30 more minutes, got me a seat. I walked out of the office, triumphant and relieved. I’d had to fight to get out of Lalibela and 5 days after the original planned departure date, we were finally going to leave.

Lalibela: Tastes like scam

2011-05-22T12:00:00.001-07:00

Lalibela, as it turns out, is probably one of those tourist towns I mentioned, on par with Marrakesh, Morocco or the like. It’s THE holy city to Ethiopian Orthodox Christians, on par with Jerusalem, but it’s also the number one town to visit as a tourist. Consequently, there are scams here. Apparently the “sponsor my education” is a well-known line here, and the people of this town are just professional beggars. If I weren’t such a bleeding heart, I’d stop falling for it. Jacob is around to remind me, though, which is good because I need someone to save me from my naïve generosity.

The dictionary trick is apparently so the boys can sell it back immediately to the shopkeeper and everybody makes a little kickback. And the boy with the pink flipflops seemed so sincere…

What are you supposed to do if you help them and they take advantage of you? When they lie, steal, and cheat you under the pretense of friendship?

I guess the answer is: Kalli, stop giving people something for nothing. Don’t give money without people providing a service in return, don’t buy gifts, toys, or candy for children, don’t “help” beggars. This is my take away message and I hope I can live with it. The fact is, though, based on past experience, catch me at the right moment with the right sob story and I’ll do it again. Sigh.

Ethiopia, to us, feels like a peaceful, passive-aggressive, lazy Nigeria. You know, friendly scammers.

Funny story: I was taken to a police station with the tourist guide who scammed us, someone who told us he was security but in fact was another tour guide, and a police officer who was part of the scam. It was 3 against 1 (me) and little hope of justice being served.

Do you know what it’s like to live in a country where the entire system is corrupt and police officers can be bought off? When you can’t trust anyone around you to be honest, when everyone around you is hoping to steal from you and mislead, and outright lie to you? Where there is no one to be your advocate—you are a rich farenji, you deserve what happens to you? Where even in the hotel you are staying in, the place that should be looking out for its customers, is full of tricksters who even state different prices than the manager has instructed them to?

At least in Ethiopia, unlike Central and South America, the scammers aren’t armed. They’re wimpy and a little pathetic, so you feel sorry for them even as you are frustrated with them. You remind yourself:

Their situation is so much worse than mine, I shouldn’t get mad.

But then after all-day pestering you still do get mad and you tell the young, bright-eyed, talented-at-scamming boy who has asked for something in the exact same lying way the last boy asked: “You know what? In America we work for what we receive! We don’t ask for something from strangers without providing something in return! And even if I did buy a soccer ball, I wouldn’t give it to you!”

Say a prayer for Ethiopia

2011-05-20T14:04:00.001-07:00

God bless Ethiopia.

They need it.

Jacob says his experience of Ethiopia has been tainted for him because everyone here has a not-so-hidden agenda: begging. That it is “plasticy” because no one we meet can really be trusted to be our friend.

It’s difficult not to feel this way.

It does seem that many Ethiopians are kind people…their friendship is genuine….they just don’t know how to get out of the rough financial situation they are in, and the white people with their fancy cameras, name brand shoes and educated English come in… it’s difficult not to ask for a little money.

Well, it’s exhausting to be begged from by 10 people on every walk you take. It’s exhausting to make a friend and then 2 days into the friendship they start using words like “sponsor my education” and “I need help.”

I’d hardened my heart to it, because you have to, it’s too much. And then tonight made me sorrow a bit. One nice boy here in Lalibela nicknamed Champion has shown us around the town, without us asking him to, and a couple days later started to ask for sponsorship so he could go to college. That he can’t afford school. That he goes to bed hungry at night. Jacob gave him a stern lecture about how God gave him hands and abilities for a reason, that even if he helped Champion, what should Jacob tell the thousands of other beggars? and hugged him, and Champion started to turn away to hide his tears.

Jacob doesn’t know if he is just acting or if his situation is really that rough. It’s hard not to be cynical in those situations, although I’m much more likely to fall for a help-me ruse than Jacob. Because it’s too easy to believe that here in Ethiopia, their situation really is that rough.

We both agree, in any event, that we really like Champion. He’s nice and good-intentioned.

What would you tell a guy like him?

I told him to start a business—he said he’d love to, if he had the startup money (it’s not like Ethiopians can get a loan.)

I told him about internet business—if only he had a computer, he said.

Despite our lectures about Americans making their own fortunes, inside I had to admit that actually I was “sponsored.” My education was sponsored by scholarships, LDS tithing, and generous parents. What would I have done if I had none of those things, no access to books or computers, and no option to get a loan? I don’t know. But goodness knows a college education doesn’t equal getting a good job, unfortunately. Jacob, as a college dropout and a successful one at that, is probably the wrong person to ask for money to go to college.

I broke my resolve not to give to people on the street and bought a fifteen year old kid a dictionary today. He really wants to learn English—he found my soft spot, which is books. I can’t imagine living in a city with no library. Well, actually we have—in Ouazazarte, Morocco, and it wasn’t easy. I’m not going to say no to a $12 book. Plus, I reasoned, you buy a person a meal and they’re hungry the next day. You buy them a book, they can learn for a lifetime…and even share that learning and that book with others.

The Dictionary Boy: See the pink flipflops he’s wearing? They were way too small for him.

Ethiopia, tonight, has made me a little teary.

God help Ethiopians learn to help themselves. That’s the prayer I’m saying in my heart tonight.

Beggars

2011-05-19T05:38:00.001-07:00

Ethiopia is starting to drive me a little crazy.

Jacob and I are both agreed that, after 3 months of sub-Saharan Africa, we are ready for, as Jacob puts it, “some people who are a little more up and coming.”

The hassle is just starting to be a little much as a farenji, or white person. It’s not the danger—Addis Ababa is as safe as it gets for Africa—it’s the begging.

And it’s not the begging from the handicapped that really gets me. There are so many handicapped here. We’re told it’s because the polio vaccine is relatively new. Polio apparently until recently used to be a huge problem. So many strange skin diseases with bulbous growths all over the body, so many people without feet, so many blind mothers with babies sucking at their breasts, so many mentally handicapped walking naked through the streets, so many crutches and so many malformed bodies. Their situation is a constant reminder of how blessed I am to have access to adequate healthcare.

So many kids trying to earn their keep by shoeshining, some wearing pants with holes the size of tennis balls on the bum. Or by selling chewing gum, or by begging and making hungry motions. These kids, I can pity, even if they can be irksome in their aggressiveness.

But the hassle from grown, healthy men with jobs, asking me for money—begging shamelessly from me, a young woman—is too much. There are so many normal, grown people here who just sit around on their blankets and make begging faces.

The miracle is, they get money. They all get money.

The reason is Ethiopia’s socialist culture. If you have money, you should give to those who don’t. It’s its religion too. Ethiopian Orthodox. By giving to others, God will bless you. Sadly, this belief, though altruistic, is holding them back.

Ethiopia is in the 10 poorest countries in the world.

It’s like they’ve never asked themselves why they are so poor. Just that they are poor, and other countries are selfish for not helping them. So many of them feel helpless and they just want wealthy people to give them money. But the poor countries get that way for a reason. It’s not just fate. The ideologies that the poor countries embrace are not helping them any.

The government, like most African countries, has been in power way too long and it is merciless with its protesters. 200 people were killed and 800 injured the last time elections were protested in 2005. Some people deny those numbers and even like their president because he’s still better than the president before. I didn’t know until coming here that Ethiopia had its own genocide that ended only 15 years ago, where it is reported 500,000 people were killed. The man in power at the time was afraid of all the youth and intelligensia so he wiped out an entire generation. This is unimaginable to Americans and it makes me respect “the right to bear arms” -even though I hate guns, I respect the right for a citizen to own one.

We were told Ethiopians want Americans to come help them kick their president out of power. I don’t know how I feel about that…We won our own independence didn’t we?

That said, I don’t think I would have the courage to protest, knowing I might be shot. I’d emigrate, instead. I think the Egyptians and others who have protested are so incredibly brave.

No other country has made me so proud to have been raised American. In America, we believe that you reap what you sow. If you work hard, you’ll be successful. If you don’t, it’s your fault. Your success is up to you.

Here in Ethiopia, the helplessness is palpable. They believe their destiny is in other people’s hands—rich people’s hands, and right now it is, because they have not risen to their potential, and because experience has taught them white people are generous.

The lack of ambition in people can be so frustrating here. We even arranged for our friend to get a job through the Church. He hasn’t worked in 3 years and is being supported by his younger sister. We thought he’d jump at the chance. Instead, he made some excuse of it not being the ideal work environment. We pay for everything when we go out with him. He often can’t even afford to make a single phone call. He’s dependent on his younger sister. He asks me to have 3 birr, the equivalent of about 10 cents, for a ride home. And yet he’s turning down a job…It seems the people would rather live off of charity than take initiative. There’s no shame in getting freebies because their culture has taught them that those who have should give to them….that’s the unselfish thing to do.

The result is the poorest, most begging culture we have ever experienced.

Ethiopia has got pretty rough problems, but NGOs run by Americans I personally don’t think is the answer. More and more, Jacob and I have become disenchanted with NGOs. Often they are the excuse for the owners to live it up under the name of charity, living out of the Sheraton and paying themselves a handsome salary. There is corruption and mismanagement of funds and abuse, much more than a regular business because a service or product is not being traded for money, but a “do good deed” which can’t really be listed in the marketplace for a price. White people who have come before us have given to the beggars and made the people now even more aggressive and shameless in their overtures toward us.

More and more, we feel that business is the answer. People need to start businesses, create jobs, and provide value to the marketplace. I know that is easier said than done, but…there is so much that could be created here. Ethiopia is not the desert people imagine it is. In the highlands, where most of the people live, it’s extremely green and beautiful. We’ve been told there is enough arable land in Ethiopia to actually feed all of Africa—how ironic, its dependence on food aid.

Ethiopia has to be a democracy before it can rise above its destitute situation. Until then, the government’s control will never allow the people to get the education and confidence they need to better their lives.

And in the meantime, the internet breaks, the power goes out, the hot water runs out, elevators go in and out of service, websites are blocked, the store keepers scam you, the locals follow you, and the farenjis start dreaming of a hassle-free, technologically advanced society where people don’t expect you to give them money just because you have some, or because you look like you have some because you have white skin.

Even though we made friends easily here, we wonder here more than anywhere else if these friends aren’t hoping to benefit financially from us—if our friendship isn’t a little artificial. India’s people were just as poor—but they insisted on paying our taxis for us, in giving us gifts, in making gestures that made us unable to doubt their genuine friendship. When we go out with friends here, there’s no question who’s getting the tab. No polite offers, even, to pay for their own. I’m pretty sure they just tell the waiter in Amharic, “The farenji’s getting the bill.”

I’ve started wanting to shake the grown men and women by the shoulders and say, “You can create your own destiny! You can live a better life! Don’t ask other people for money! Have a little pride!” But it’s such a different mentality. The kind-hearted Ethiopians can’t understand the concept that giving to beggars means they will continue to beg. That if you don’t give, they’ll stop asking, and they’ll find another way to make money. It’s that simple. As long as it’s more profitable for them to beg than to work, though, you can be sure they’ll stay on the streets, tugging your sleeve, making faces, wailing, hobbling, persistently trailing behind you.

Cairo will hopefully be an improvement in this area.

Rafting the Nile

2011-05-13T15:07:00.001-07:00

Here’s the story of our whitewater rafting in Uganda:

Jinja, Uganda is supposed to have the best white water rafting in the world.

I wavered at whether or not I wanted to do five grade rapids though:

But a friend I made said I had to do it, so…we did.

We got picked up outside of Nakumatt Oasis in a huge van that smelled like sweat which had “Nile River Explorers” painted on it.

We drove for a bumpy hour. I expected we would pick up others, but we never did.

Turns out Jacob and I were the only ones rafting the Nile that day.

This meant no photographers and no one to join us for the big barbecue bash that celebrates a safe ride down the river.

It could have been disappointing, but instead I chose to see it as romantic. Just Jacob and I on a private expedition for two

The company is Australian-owned, but the guides were Ugandan.

Our main guide was sarcastic, tough, and had been rafting the Nile for 11 years. Tony, his grinning counterpart, made a perfect sidekick. Each rapid that advanced, our guide would say: “Tony, please don’t scream like a girl this time. You need to stop scaring the clients” or “Tony, don’t hide in the raft” and cute, grinning Tony would giggle and say, “Okay.”

We had some training. We learned no one had died, but several people had broken bones. We learned what to do if we got caught under the raft, what to do if we got taken away by the current, and how to ride the kayak if he came to rescue us. How to catch the rope if we had to get pulled in (not wrapped around the fingers—it could break them). How to float so we would be less likely to get tore up by a rock, legs in the air. We removed rings and watches because the water usually swallowed them up.

All of the information was kind of overwhelming, and I just knew I wouldn’t be able to remember it all in an emergency. Fortunately, we never had to use it.

I dressed in a tee shirt and long spandex-style pants that turned out to be perfect for swimming—they protected from the sun but didn’t get baggy with water. We also had helmets and life jackets. The water was so pleasant—not cold at all. There were crocodiles, which we were told were vegetarian. Because white people hunt them, they get out quick when they see white people. Apparently they like to eat black people though. Which is why they didn’t like to swim in the water. Our guides said.

I wasn’t strong enough to pull myself into the raft when we practiced falling out, so it was agreed Jacob would pull me in. I’ve been working on my upper body strength, too. Darn.

We started going down the river, and we could already hear the rapids before we could see them. My heart was beating faster and I was praying and saying, “What did we get ourselves into?” We approached the water as our guide began issuing commands. “Paddle harder!” And then, “Get down!” That was the signal to hold onto the rope and hide your head. The raft whisked around large boulders and belched us out onto smooth water. We hadn’t tipped over. It was adrenaline-pumping fun.

The next one the wave was so humongous there was no doubt we were going to topple. It was like an ocean wave. We watched it break over us like the monster it was. Soon I found myself under the raft, but I saw light, headed towards it, and only swallowed a little of the famous Nile. Jacob, however, was stuck under the raft for a while, and he came up after gulping water for a bit. That one was our worst one. We went on 8 major rapids. Others had been closed due to the dam that was recently built. There’s talk that these rapids won’t be around forever, so now is the time to go.

After that there were long stretches of nothing, where we could just sit back and observe the interesting birds along the river. Lunch was fresh pineapple, chopped with a large knife right in front of us. I never knew how tasty fresh pineapple could be. Jacob and Tony skipped chunks of it across the river. Jacob squeezed the pineapple into his mouth and all over his face, saying he could do that here because he could just jump into the river afterwards. (Jacob hates to get his hands dirty.) He backflipped off the raft, knocked us all off at one point or another, and was just having such a great time that I was laughing just watching him. We could just swim and play in the flat water. Jacob took me and kissed me in the middle of the Nile, an awkward kiss with two life jackets blocking it, but my favorite part of the day nonetheless.

Then the roar of the rapids could be heard, and we’d prepare again. I’d be just as nervous every time. I was only nervous about breaking a bone. That would have been a nuisance, what with our having plane tickets to fly to Ethiopia the next day.

On a couple of the rapids, he had us lean on one side as we rode a wave sideways to keep from toppling. Bump—bump—bump, we sat on the top of that wave like a rickety roller coaster ride.

I’ll tell you there’s nothing like the feeling of being on top of a wave, in a raft, screaming and laughing, before sliding down it and starting it over again, out of control, at the mercy of the water.

We finished and I was a bit relieved and proud at the same time.

I discovered white water rafting grade 5 rapids was like everything I’m scared of: I research it, read blogs about it, overanalyze it, weigh the risks, consider backing out until the last second, and then take a leap of faith and do it.

Then I discover it’s never as bad as my imagination made it out to be.

Despite slathering on sunscreen, we both got rocked. My lower lip puffed up to the size of an African’s. Jacob’s rosy cheeks got even rosier.

Jacob’s quote: “This is my favorite activity in all of Africa.”

Since we didn’t have our camera with us that day, here is a picture of Jacob on a different day in front of another part of the Nile.

Don’t love travel?

2011-05-12T08:34:00.000-07:00

I have a theory that everyone loves to travel…they just don’t know it yet.

Most people think of travel as sightseeing. Although that is definitely enjoyable, that isn’t why I travel.

I travel because I have to know how other people live. How other people see the world.

I remember the week before I went to study abroad in Vienna. I was an emotional wreck. I cried a lot. I was scared to leave my friends, and Utah. I had no idea what it was going to be like. I wasn’t going, at that point, because I loved travel. I was going because it was going to allow me to escape the BYU music program for a while. Hey, the idea of use of travel for an escape is not a new one.

So I was really scared, but I remember my dad told me: “Kalli…I think you’re really going to like it.”

That turned out to be an understatement. You don’t live in the world’s number one quality of life city for three and a half months and not fall in love with it.

At a football match in Vienna

I woke up every morning energized and excited for what the day would bring. I’d never had my own car, so public transportation meant I could actually get around on my own. I went clubbing with my roommate and I even met an Austrian boy. I fell in love with Europe.

I came back to the States ready for more.

Which leads me to my secret trick to fall in love with traveling:

To really travel, you have to stay a while. In one place. Preferably a month. Preferably not a tourist city.

A tourist city is defined as a city which exists solely to cater to tourists. Cappadocia or Ephesus, Turkey are some. The islands of Thailand, any kind of luxury cruise, Cancun, Mexico, and Santorini, Greece, too. Not that these places shouldn’t be visited—they just aren’t the place to go to if you are thinking about “traveling” as opposed to “vacationing.” Living in a place versus doing a shop-til-you-drop, mad-running-about-to-see-every-site, the-locals-are-all-out-to–get-your-tourist-dollar scammers (or worse, there are no locals because tourists and expats have actually taken over the city), visit is completely different. In fact, that idea is exhausting to do full time. We just hang out. We spend a lot of time at our hotel. We do maybe one touristy thing a week. Then we’ll go on some stint for a few days where we’re basically full out tourists…then return to relax and spend the rest of the month just hibernating, hanging out with new friends, and working on the computer.

I know not everyone has the ability to travel for a month at a time, but if you get the chance, a month will give you a completely different feeling than a jam-packed four days will. For Jacob, that vision came when he stayed in New Caledonia for 2 years. Jacob had to convince me to travel slow at first. For me, as someone who is desperate to see the whole world, it definitely was a paradigm shift. But now I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Some would say even one or two months is too short, really…and in some ways it is. But it at least gives you that depth that can only come when you stay in one place long enough for it to feel like home.

Tourists don’t know where they’ve been. Travelers don’t know where they’re going.

Ethiopia, the warm heart of Africa

2011-05-10T12:19:00.001-07:00

Sorry for the hiatus—I believe the Ethiopian government blocks blogspot.

Ethiopia is everything I have wanted from Africa. In fact, it feels like the warm heart of Africa, like Turkey was the warm heart of the Middle East, India, the warm heart of Asia, and to some extent, Macedonia was for Europe (though we had Jacob’s brother to thank for that, perhaps.)

It’s a mix of Africa and the Middle East. Everything about it is unique.

It has its own calendar, its own time system, and the people have their own look.

The weather is similar to Utah’s; dry, not too hot, and mountainous.

The cuisine is actually unique—beyond the chicken/rice/plantain fare so common elsewhere. It’s easy to be vegetarian here: it’s called fasting in their religion, so food is plentiful and delicious for me.

It’s been easy to make friends here.

The religion, they believe, is the earliest version of Christianity and that the Arc of the Covenant is found here. They dress all in white when they go to worship for unity’s sake, which I thought paralled my own religion. Pretty neat.

The dancing is CRAZY

The music is percussive, rhythmic, and overwhelming.

There are more naked, blind, handicapped, and poor people than any place we’ve been to. Someone told us that this is because of the wars Ethiopia has had for the last 20 years.

There is so much recorded history, of which Ethiopians are justly proud. This is Lucy, the oldest hominid ever found.

The traditional clothes feel Biblical—which they probably are.

Back to life…

2011-05-10T12:08:00.001-07:00

Back to reality…

We are in Egypt now…inhaling modernity, ambition, and technology—those three things which overall are missing in sub Saharan Africa.

I can now publish my Ethiopian blog posts.

I’ve considered editing them, because my opinion of Ethiopia changed over time… I think I’ll still publish them as I wrote them though. I went to the Egyptian museum today. Now is a great time to visit Egypt—without the tourist crowds, it feels like we’re the only ones around to discover its treasures.

Some travel philosophy

2011-03-30T11:21:00.001-07:00

“In a way all explorers are journalists. Reporting from places others can’t go, speaking from experience and not fiction. Blessed with no special powers or skills, often simply able to make the sacrifices needed to live and experience things others cannot or will not.” Henri Coetzee

Sometimes I like to flatter myself and think that I’m an expert when it comes to a country just because I lived there a month. If I do that, pinch me. Hard. Because obviously, 1-3 months is just enough to skim the surface. I research the heck out of the places we go; I learn the recent history and the type of government and the language spoken and the population: and when we arrive I record my first impressions and the conversations we have with locals, and between the two I come to some kind of conclusion. If it’s about Uganda, it’s not going to be the conclusion a Ugandan would draw. It’s the conclusion of an American LDS girl who has traveled a fair bit, who tries to be unbiased but who may be very wrong about certain things, and who may change her mind from time to time.

I don’t intend to represent the situation of an entire country when we witness such a small part of it for such a short time, or at least understand if I do, the representation could very well be flawed.

However, we stay longer and more casually than most travellers have the opportunity to do, we travel independently as opposed to with a tour group or service organization, and for that I can offer a small glimpse into what it’s like for an American to live like a regular person would in the 20 or so countries we’ve spent time in so far. What it feels like, most of all, beyond the news reports with agendas and the fiction novels. How the people, food, sightseeing, and religions rate in comparison to other places. And how each country has changed my perspective on what I previously held to be true.

Murchison Falls, Uganda

African Realization

2011-03-25T02:26:00.001-07:00

Riding Kampala Coach bus service into Uganda

It was in Church in Uganda that I had my realization about Africa.

The lady next to me in the Kampala Kololo Relief Society said this:

“We Africans are lazy! And God knows this about us. A long time ago I went to Europe. And I looked at the thermometer and it said it was –10 degrees outside! I called my sister and I said, “I’m bout to freeze here just like a chicken!” So God hasn’t given Africans winter because He knows we’re too lazy and we’d just die…Life in the village is so wonderful. We can sleep as much as we want, and when we’re hungry we just climb a tree and get some fruit. God has blessed us. We don’t have problems with earthquakes and tsunamis like Japan. We have everything we need.”

And I realized:

Wait a minute. It’s true. The land here is so green and lush. There is no winter. There are no natural disasters.

It is, or could be, a blessing to be born in Africa.

Africans have a wealth of resources right underneath their fingertips. The animals, the vegetation, the diamonds etc. It is up to them to capitalize on them—it’s not up to America or Europe. We’ve “helped” (and damaged) them enough already. Africans must learn to help Africans.

Living in Africa is an awakening. It’s seeing lives lived with problems that seem insurmountable. Where to start? The governments are unstable, the police are corrupt, 3/4 of people are unemployed at any given time, there are droughts, famines, AIDS and malaria outbreaks, child soldiers and prostitution, alcoholism (Uganda has the most alcohol consumption per capita in the world), illiteracy, lack of neighborhood cohesion, witch doctors for healthcare, no pride in one’s country, violent crime, war.

Most surprising of all, though perhaps it is to be expected: the family is broken apart. Some stats say that 90% of Kenyan men are unfaithful to their wives for example.

I asked a Canadian girl who had lived in Africa for years:

“Why do you suppose Africa is always at war?”

She replied, “That’s a very difficult question. I don’t know the answer.—But then, America is always at war, too, isn’t it?

I paused, taken aback: “True.”

Anyways, the question of why Africa is so besieged with problems could take years of discussion.

Jacob believes it’s the lack of winter—winter forces development.

I believe it’s lack of entrepreneurs—almost all the people who own businesses that we’ve seen in East Africa are actually Indians. For all the people we see just sitting around, it’s really amazing that more people don’t try to start a business. The hotels we stay in are foreign-run, and often even the tourist activities are headed by foreigners, not Africans. Economic problems breed hatred here—hatred toward leaders and toward people who are successful.

A preacher we met in Kigali genuinely believes that Africa is cursed. It certainly feels that way, let me tell you…

But these problems are created by the Africans and they must be solved by the Africans. I don’t believe we can be the saviors of the world, though Americans sure try to be… We can, of course do what we can to help. But---

We cannot force on people what they do not want for themselves.

African people must want development and must work for development. They must vote for leaders with integrity. They must build their own schools and not chase away talented and intelligent people with wrongheaded policies and low quality of life. They must stop allowing corruption. They must build businesses. They must plan for the future so when the drought or famine comes they have stored food. They must learn from their mistakes. They must get married and stay married. They must stop practicing witchcraft on one another

(Jacob has been hexed already. He thinks it was a joke. Let’s hope. He cast a spell on them in return.)

They must learn to serve one another, the main focus of all successful businesses.

And they can do it, but they must want it and they must do it—the African way.

We can’t do it for them.

What the West-aiding-Africa culture has engendered, though idealistically it sounds humane, in real life, is Africans literally expecting things from us just because we’re white. If we go grocery shopping the guard of the mall, armed with a gun, naturally, says, “Even this one I want” pointing to the drink Jacob is drinking. Children follow us and demand, “Give me money. Give me pen.” Not so much as a please or thank you. The shipping of free clothes to Rwanda means that everyone wears US brand clothes instead of buying clothes from Rwandans, destroying the clothes industry there because why buy clothes from Rwanda when you can get them free from America? Everyone in Ghana assumed I worked for an NGO, because why would a white person visit a black country without plans to “help”--

Just because we’re white and they’re black. We’re American, and they’re African. It sucks and frankly, we’re getting tired of it. If anyone comes here to work in an NGO, I wish it could be African Americans, to show that it’s not skin color that marks success. But the African Americans I know don’t even know which country their ancestors come from. They are remarkably separated from their history, and the NGOs that I have seen are run completely by white people.

The president of the United States of America’s father came from Kenya. The most powerful person in the world is black.

Anything is possible for the people here too, but I don’t know that they have that kind of vision.

Another Sunday in Rwanda, I sat through a testimony with tears dripping down my face as a youth spoke of his conversion to the Church. He said that he was starving and he asked his family for food and they didn’t have any and he asked his neighbors and they didn’t have any and so he started begging on the side of the road. And an American girl came and told him that his Heavenly Father loved him, and to come to Church with her. And he is now an English teacher and he’s not hungry anymore and he lives with hope for the future.

I will never know what it is like to go hungry. I will never know what it is like to grow up a poor African child and see wealthy, well-fed white people come visit my city.

I’m glad to know that I can still be affected by the misery that we see, and I don’t want to become jaded, but I can’t help but feel this:

Africa, it’s time for you to take some accountability for your own.

Homesick

2011-03-18T07:01:00.001-07:00

So I have to admit: Since coming to Uganda I have felt homesick.

Can I indulge in some things I am missing?

~Libraries.

I know I have a Kindle, but I miss exploring the shelves and flipping through books and smelling the pages and seeing the typefaces. I miss library computers where I can look up any book I’ve been interested in and read it, for free.

There’s a bookstore in the mall next door and I settled into one of their cozy armchairs with some books and spent a comfortable hour reading about Rwandan and African problems. Surrounding me were other Africans sitting in their respective cozy armchairs, reading as well. However, when I left, a store employee said: “What did you buy?” Me: “Nothing this time.” Employee: “I saw you reading over there, and you didn’t buy anything? That’s bad. You should buy at least one.” I felt discriminated against as the only white (therefore, wealthy) person. Maybe all the other Africans bought a book, I don’t know. I haven’t gone back to that bookstore.

~Shopping with girlfriends.

I’ve complained about shopping in the past, but it’s not shopping that I don’t like—not really. It’s shopping alone that is boring and a nuisance.

~Good internet.

Without good internet, it’s difficult to communicate with friends and family—Skype goes too slow. Furthermore working becomes a chore when every 5 minutes the internet goes out.

~U.S. holidays.

We’ve been traveling for nearly 2.5 years now, and we have missed a lot of holidays and celebrations. I’d love to decorate Easter eggs, or make an Irish dinner for St Patrick’s day, but our situation makes those things difficult.

~Cooking.

I would really love to cook for Jacob. He would really love it, too.

~LDS Church, American-style.

Church is different in Africa. The speaking style is very straight-laced and rote for the most part. Interesting anecdotes or critical thinking discussions are absent. Instead, questions are asked like, “How should we fast?” and then people answer it for 30 minutes in very typical ways. Then the next question is “In what ways should we fast?” and the answers are exactly the same, and it seems to go over the teacher’s head that it was the exact same question just phrased in a different way. Sometimes the discussions are so weird. For example, in Ghana we spent an entire 3rd hour talking about blood. “What is blood?” “Why do we need blood?”

~Salads, cheese, Mexican food, and no worries about Delhi belly.

Anyone who’s lived abroad for an extended amount of time knows that food can be a real heartbreaker. America is the best food destination in the world, Jacob and I agree. (Italy comes in a close second). African cuisine isn’t varied or creative or even tasty on the whole, although there are options for other cuisine—usually Indian. I’ve had food poisoning in 5 places over the last 2.5 years: Turkey, Morocco, USA, Thailand, and Uganda.

~Clothes

With poor planning on my part, almost all the clothes I packed were pink. Then, the day I said to myself, “I am tired of wearing pink!” I washed an Indian skirt which was pink and new and it dyed Jacob’s clothes pink too! I had to laugh. We are still washing pink dye out of our clothes. I’m ready for some new colors.

~Convenient transportation

It’s difficult to get around here. The traffic is bad, the drivers reckless and boda bodas are the easiest way to get around but I refuse to use them because they are dangerous. They’re motorcycles with bad track records and no helmets. To cross the street is an act of daring with no crosswalks and endless streams of cars.

~Distance from loved ones

I’m missing a lot of milestones in friends and family members’ lives.

This is our choice to be here though. Africa is a difficult place to live—that’s one reason we’re here, to see how a large majority of people live and maybe get some insight and empathy into the Dark Continent. The other reason is because Jacob is training athletes here and actually he has been offered to play on the professional Division I team so this is an exciting opportunity. He doesn’t know if he’s interested, but –Jacob just showed up in a foreign country and got offered a professional basketball position! That is pretty dang incredible. So please excuse my homesickness, I don’t think it will last long and we are definitely grateful for the experience thus far.

Uganda has the wackiest birds I’ve ever seen and they live just outside our window.

Final thoughts on Rwanda

2011-03-15T08:52:00.001-07:00

One of my favorite travel websites doesn’t have a country summary of Rwanda. So here’s my version:

Intro: If you tell anyone you’re planning a trip to Rwanda, most people will think you’re absolutely mad. That goes to show the news hasn’t talked about what’s happened since the 1994 genocide. That is: it’s pulled itself together and actually put to good use the aid money that came in in the years following. For example, they have a goal to be completely internet-wired throughout the country by 2020. Yet there is still an undercurrent of paranoia, much like in Israel, thanks to the armed guards that wait on every corner of Kigali. There is peace right now, but my feeling is that it’s fragile. There are grenades that go off at the bus stations every few months, for example. And the anti-Tutsi movement is still alive and well just across the border in the DRC—the Democratic Republic of the Congo.

Rwanda is a country full of surprises. It’s the cleanest, most orderly African country I’ve visited. You can eat its salads with no worries of future indigestion. It’s stunningly beautiful, and infrastructure is paved.

There are also more white people in Kigali than in Accra.

Nevertheless it’s the last country I would want to live in all of our travels. Because of its lack of healthcare—it’s strange to never hear ambulances—and for the unsettling feeling it gave me (for Jacob Morocco is the country that ranks dead last—Rwanda at least has basketball), but I’m very glad we visited it. It’s a heartbreaker. No other area of the world, as far as I can tell, has seen the sorrows that Rwanda, Burundi, the Congo, Sudan, Ethiopia, Eritrea, and Uganda—where we are now—have seen.

Highlights: We only visited Kigali, the Hotel Des Milles Collines (Hotel Rwanda), and its genocide memorials and the gorillas, both of which are important to see. There’s a Mother Teresa orphanage with really adorable, very normal seeming young children.

Lowlights: In typical African fashion, there’s just not a whole lot to do. Rwandan service isn’t quite up to par, and they are notorious for taking your food before you’re finished if you’re not watching. Jacob had an Indian make mishti doi (sweet curd) as a gift for him. Jacob left it on the table, untouched, to go look at the scores on the TV in the same room for one minute. In the meantime, a waiter came and whisked it away! Just one example of many.

How to book the gorilla safari: Go with any tour company in town. We used Jamba Tours and Travel. They will arrange everything, including transport ($200 unless you can find someone to share with) and picking up the $500 permits. Doing it last minute like us, you will need to use a company anyway, because the official tour office will tell you they’re booked solid, but somehow tour companies can always find extra permits. Be sure to bring a rain coat, rain boots, and a change of clothes because you WILL get soaked. It’s a rainforest. And it’s not hiking. It is trekking—the roughest hiking I’ve ever done in my life. There are no footpaths at points, the mud can go up to your knees, there’s stinging nettle, and hail. There were 75 year old grandparents on our trek though, who run an NGO in Liberia. I want to be like them when I grow up

Visa strategy: No visa necessary for Americans for 3 months.

Getting around: Regular taxis can be so expensive ($20 for a simple roundtrip around town) that the moto taxis become the most logical answer. From 200-1000 francs per ride. They are actually quite safe and though you can’t tell because of the picture, passengers are legally required to have helmets.

The matatus (shared vans) are very cheap if you can find someone to direct you which one to take. Nyabugogo is the major bus stop, and from here you can reach Ntarama, one of the churches that was a scene to some of the most tragic episodes of the genocide. I did not see anywhere to rent a car or motorbike to self-drive, though I did see an ad to rent a bike.

Costs: Living in Kigali, Rwanda is unfortunately more expensive than Europe in some ways. Reasonable-standard accommodation comes with its price tag. Wifi is so slow that purchasing a ($100) internet stick at the MTN office in the mall is advised.

Money: The ATM at the aiport literally ate our Visa card upon arrival. We had to return the next day to retrieve it. It then ate it again. There is one international ATM machine at Ecobank at the back entrance up the hill past the mall. To get USD, which is needed to purchase gorilla visas, the bank in the mall takes Visa credit cards to do cash advances.

Guidebook: I read some of the Bradt in Google books.

People vibe: Solemn until you smile; then they’ll smile back. Pleasant, shy, and soft-spoken. We had several offers to hang out which often fell through. Not sure if it was flakiness or just the offers weren’t genuine?

Tourist factor: If all you do is go see the gorillas (which is all many people do who visit the country) then 10/10. Otherwise, you’ll get plenty of attention as a mzungu (European or white person).

Accommodation: We stayed at the only hostel in town, which location was so inconvenient we switched to Hotel Okapi, run by an LDS woman and with excellent food made by a Calcutta chef.

Media: There are books for sale in Nakumatt, the Walmart-style store inside the Union Trade Center. I recommend Dian Fossey’s Gorillas in the Mist as well as any books you can get your hands on about the genocide.

Food: Lunch buffets at hotels run only 1500 francs, or about $3. Like most African food, the basis is starchy carbs in many varieties from potatoes to plantains to rice/noodles. But—salads here are safe. I can’t emphasize enough how wonderful that is in a 3rd world country when salads can be deadly to the digestive system.

Hassle and annoyance factor: 5/10 For the most part it’s avoidable, though there are a lot of beggars on the way to the mall. I was pickpocketed here for the first time in my life and people here associate “white” with “freebies” unfortunately. It’s illegal to give to beggars. My advice is, “Don’t do it.”

Rating: 7/10

“Hotel Rwanda” is all lies and other trivia

2011-03-01T07:11:00.001-08:00

Gorgeous scenery

We went on a guided tour of Kigali today. Here are some facts:

1. Rwanda is the only country in the world with fewer males than females in Parliament.

2. Many Muslims helped to hide the (Catholic) Tutsis from the (Catholic) Hutus, quoting from the Koran: “To save one life is to save the whole world”

3. President Kagame has been president for 11 years. The tour guide says anyone can say they hate him, but no one wants to because he’s such a great president. Somehow I doubt that…not that he hasn’t done great things for the country, but that there aren’t people who don’t like him…The guy leading the tour was a Tutsi anyway.

4. It is easy to buy land and build a house here. You could get started in one day if you wanted to.

5. People harbor resentment towards the UN for leaving.

This is where the shootout occurred which killed the Belgium soldiers, causing the UN to leave

I think this is understandable for 2 reasons. One is that people stayed in Rwanda thinking they were safe because of the “blue hats”. Two is that the UN purposely avoided the word “genocide” in describing the events because international law says they have to intervene. President Clinton has said America’s response to this tragedy is the greatest regret of his presidency.

6. According to our guide, people here apparently hate Paul Ruessebagina. He’s never dared to come back to Rwanda after the movie Hotel Rwanda, which the tour guide says is 100% fiction. He told me to go and speak with the employees there, some of whom have worked there 20-30 years, and they would tell me the truth—that if Paul saved anyone, it was for money. He doesn’t seem to realize that the movie put Rwanda on the tourist map and without it, many people would never have even heard of the genocide.

The radio loudspeaker from which hate rhetoric used to spew

7. The 1994 genocide was not the first Rwandan genocide. People got along with each other just fine until the Belgians created divisions between them, made them carry identity cards, and introduced racism.

A mass grave at the genocide memorial

8. I don’t know how much I can trust what the tour guide said because he said that Rwandans did not have a propensity towards stealing. I told him the only time I have ever been stolen from personally was here in Kigali. He said it is because of the influx of other East Africans like Burundians and Kenyans. Malcolm X sure came across as Rwandan to me.

9. Tourism is Rwanda’s largest source of revenue.

10. I got my underground information about the government from a friend I made after volunteering at a Mother Teresa orphanage here. She has lived here for 4.5 years. If it weren’t for her suggestion, I would have no idea that there were any problems. Rwanda’s government is stable as far as African government’s go—it’s stable by force of the military.

It’s just not fully democratic yet. It feels safe—but one good thing about the US is, no one doubts that democracy is there to stay. Personally, I see great things for Rwanda on the horizon. I think it’s unlike any country in Africa. It’s clean, organized, and orderly. Education is now free. I’m grateful for how far they’ve come.

The Kigali theft experience

2011-02-27T09:42:00.001-08:00

~From the Bradt Rwanda guide

It’s a little creepy wondering how the people my age and older I see walking on the streets participated in the genocide. Were they the victims or the perpetrators? Did they betray their neighbors? Do they continue to harbor resentment? Is 17 years enough time to heal from the unthinkable?

Equally uncomfortable is the hidden role of dictator the president plays. He’s had a lot to do with the recovery of Rwanda, but no one can speak out against him. He is a Tutsi leader in a Hutu majority. It’s strange to know no one can give their true opinion about the state of things—It will always be positive if asked. He was sued by the former President of Rwanda’s wife, claiming he CAUSED the genocide and was responsible for her husband’s death. I don’t know the outcome of that lawsuit, but that’s pretty scandalous.

People here are shy, soft-spoken and reserved. They keep their distance. We’ve met people and they are friendly, but Rwanda is no Ghana. These people have much more sadness.

People, as a rule don’t speak about the genocide. But when they do they speak about it with a far off look in their eyes:

“I left Rwanda after the genocide and have just now come back…It is so strange how different it is now. I never thought I would feel safe again. Even after it was finished, they were killing the survivors, so we wouldn’t expose their role in the genocide.”

“My father’s entire side of the family was killed in the genocide. My mother moved to Uganda and even though all 10 of her kids are here she won’t come back because she’s afraid it will happen again. She has barely survived…It was my father, even though uneducated, who was good at business…”

But I never thought about how a lot of people who went through those kind of statistics listed above might have literally gone crazy and never got treated for it.

I was sitting at an internet café extremely focused working on a product launch email. The internet café was my last resort after wifi having failed me at two different restaurants and the internet stick having had a glitch. I guess no one ever promised the internet would be fast in the heart of Africa.

A skinny guy who looked about 40 years old (but people look older than they are here) with intense, big eyes started talking to me. At first he was just friendly, exchanging niceties like names. His was Malcolm X. All of a sudden he got up in my face and started talking about how he barely survived the genocide. He was talking fast. He rolled up his sleeve and told me he got the virus-- AIDS. They killed his family. He barely made it across the border with the help of the Tutsi army. He told me he couldn’t get a job because of his health.

I felt very uncomfortable during this rapid-fire speech, as he leaned in close to me and looked around as though paranoid. He asked me if I would buy him dinner.

At this point I really needed to get back to the launch, so instead of taking him to buy food like I might have normally, I gave him 1500 francs, about 3 dollars. He seemed to me as though he was straight up mentally ill, so I decided to help him. I shouldn’t have. Giving cash is almost always a bad idea. It was likely as I was fishing around looking for change that he took my newly bought cell phone.

I didn’t notice my cell phone was gone until I met up with Jacob, who told me he had tried to call me. A guy had answered and told him I was in the bathroom and he was watching my stuff. It had to be Malcolm X.

We have continued to call each other back and forth over the last couple of days. He answers and asks “how are you?” He sometimes calls us back. To us, he is obviously crazy. It wouldn’t surprise me if the whole country is overrun with basket cases. If not basket cases, at least very troubled souls. That’s eerie.

So I have to admit a different kind of safety problem here: the traffic is orderly, the food is cleanly prepared, people are pleasant if reserved, and crime is low. But—the government can’t be classified as stable. It’s one reason I doubt we’d ever want to settle down here for any period of time.

I reported the thievery back at the internet café and they were completely blasé about it. They even knew the guy. It seemed as though pickpocketing were a common occurrence and it wasn’t anything to even make a fuss about.

Rwanda’s gorgeous exterior is hiding her troubled interior

Body Rockin’

2011-02-25T09:31:00.001-08:00

In India, many people commented on my weight loss. In fact, one lady at Church, who can’t speak English, managed to ask me “Health?” Someone said that she thought that I must have lost weight from illness. Women in India are all a little rounder and curvier and generally that’s encouraged; it’s the men who are skinny as sticks. I had hoped a little that my weight gain of last year didn’t make me look that different, that no one would notice one way or the other; now that I’ve lost 25 pounds I know better—I look different. I feel different, too. I feel more confident.

I never realized how much being active affects your confidence; but when I think about it, some of the most confident people I know are also people who make sports/fitness a priority.

So I’m excited to continue increasing my levels of fitness.

Beyond getting abs, I have other fitness goals such as doing a full push up.

Going to the gym, using the weight machines, and running a mile daily was giving me results, but very slowly, and there were setbacks.

Jacob, as my personal trainer, has recommended this website to do my training from home when I don’t have access to a gym (which is often)

http://www.bodyrock.tv/

I’ve already noticed results after only doing it for 2 weeks. It absolutely removes any excuses about not having the right equipment/not having a gym membership. Not only that, but the average daily workout is only 20 minutes long (this week it’s been 10!), and Zusana, the trainer, comes out with a new routine every single day. Which is nice for someone who doesn’t like to “go running”—the seeming default workout of all American women.

It’s really really hard, but when it gets easier it means you’re getting stronger. I definitely recommend it—I feel great.

What makes it extra fun is it’s run by a married couple who have been “married for three years, blogging for two” and who “love to travel and can’t decide where to settle down.” And she’s Czech, so her accent reminds me of my friend Iva’s. If you’re in an exercise rut, check it out.

By the way, she has a great body and dresses the part, but her breasts are fake (she admits).

Nightmare

2011-02-23T09:41:00.001-08:00

I had maybe the worst nightmare of my life shortly after arriving in Rwanda.

I don’t remember all of the details, but I remember that …

Jacob and I knew that we had to escape, now.

We got in the backseat of the car. My mom was driving. An armed guard pulled us over to look over Jacob’s papers. “Hey, these are fake—“ he started, so I yelled at my mom, “Go, go, go!” And we pealed out of there and drove to a hiding place where we hurriedly tried to pack, gather belongings, and escape. All my friends and family from home were there…

We got to an area where there was one checkpoint left and then we would be free. I was filled with relief because somehow I knew there was going to be a happy ending to this story. Like all films should have. Even in my dream I was confident that we would survive…

As all my friends and family bustled about making the preparations, presumably to cross the border to freedom and safety, I walked into a deserted mobile home to use the restroom. Melissa, a neighbor from back home, came in as well. I was joking with her about how I almost forgot to zip up before leaving when she started screaming.

I turned to see countless soldiers running over the horizon. They began to slaughter everyone I knew. I didn’t watch. I urged Melissa to get down. My only thought was to pretend to be dead and wondered if there was ketchup around so that I could smear it on myself to fool them. I laid there, hoping they hadn’t seen Melissa screaming at the window, hoping she wouldn’t give us away now, hoping they would be fooled by my pretending if they opened the door. My mind was blank with fear. I wondered if it would hurt. My mind was not on my loved ones—there was no room for the thought. It was only consumed with fear of the immediate future.

Mercifully, I woke up, simultaneously chilled to the bone and sweating, and I thought: “I think I understand Rwandans a little better now.”

Only for them, of course, it was not a terrifying dream. It was reality.

I grew up learning about the Holocaust, “because it’s important to never let it happen again.” Little did I know, it had happened again, in Pol Pot’s regime in Cambodia in the 70s, in Burundi, in the Congo, in Uganda, in places around the world…

and here in beautiful, misty, green, hilly Rwanda.

There’s an injustice there.

Let’s stop saying “never again” and instead acknowledge that it has happened again, and it will happen again, so long as there exists ignorance of commonalities and fear of differences in the human heart, and a government which exploits that ignorance and fear, that mentality of Us versus Them.

My journey with Islam

2011-02-21T11:24:00.001-08:00

I’ve gone on a journey when it comes to how I view Islam.

First I was ignorant of what Islam was.

Then I learned a little and I was disgusted.

I learned more and I was indignant.

I compared Bible verses to show its superiority to the Koran.

I saw Muslims and Christians as separate, with Muslims the clear inferior.

I became outspoken against it.

I made Muslim friend after Muslim friend.

My heart began to soften.

I realized there aren’t better people out there than Muslims, in many ways.

I realized that in most religions, flaws are found, but in most religions,

beauty is found as well.

I moved to acceptance for Islam’s flaws..

I saw the good Islam has to offer and recognized its similarity to my own beliefs.

I grew to love the people who practice Islam.

I now feel a part of my heart is Muslim.

Tabassum

2011-02-20T14:26:00.001-08:00

Tabassum and I have a funny friendship.

I don’t recall ever being in the position before as the “corrupting” friend. Yet, with my friend Tabassum of Calcutta, she is one of the most sheltered, naïve 28-year-olds that I have ever known—so I am the liberal, radical, rule-bending one. Well, come to think of it, my Mormon friends probably view me that way as well She is Muslim, a religion more conservative than my own, which is rare.

She makes me laugh.

For example, she asked me, “Do you cover your head when you greet your brother-in-law in the morning?”

I broke into laughter as I imagined wrapping myself in a shawl to be properly attired for Luke. I explained that women don’t cover their heads in America—not even some of the Muslim women there.

We walked around the park one day, holding hands. In most cultures around the world, it’s very common for people of the same sex to hold hands. She was oblivious that this might be awkward for me. She kept elbowing me and pointing at couples and giggling. It took me a while to figure out that she was scandalized by the physical displays of affection going on on the benches, which didn’t consist of much more than hand holding and sitting close.

I felt obligated to explain to her that in America, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person if you do those things in public—even unmarried. I told her Jacob and I actually kissed before we got married. She couldn’t believe it. She didn’t know I was capable of such a thing. Somehow she accepted it but it really stunned her. In her mind no one with morals would do such a thing. I tried to tell her that women don’t hold hands in public; men and women do. And it’s all not a reflection of being a bad person. I’m not sure she really understood. And how could she? Her marriage was arranged.

She insists on paying for everything when I am there because I am “her guest.” She probably lives on 1/100 of my salary.

She laughs for a full minute when I describe what poverty in America looks like (because she asked if we had slums similar to India). “We are the American poor!” she keeps repeating (because she has a house and a refrigerator). But not really—she doesn’t have a toilet or a.c. which I imagine most American poor do.

She takes me out to eat at a little hole in the wall, not realizing how unappetizing the fly-infested dishes look to me, and I take her out to eat at the nicest restaurant in Calcutta, not realizing how unimpressed she would be with how slowly the food was brought out.

Precariously tied together bleachers at the circus

Tabassum (in blue) with sisters and mom

The gifts Tabassum’s daughter Humaira, who calls me “Auntie Kalli” so generously presented to me.

Tabassum and I have a funny friendship. But it’s one, I have a feeling, that will span our whole lives.

Rwanda?!?!

2011-02-19T09:59:00.001-08:00

Most people probably think we’re crazy for going to Rwanda. Anyone who has seen the movie “Hotel Rwanda” knows why. (The assassination of its president, the absolute breakdown of government, the exit of the UN, the mass genocide of 1 million people in 3 months.)

But that happened 17 years ago almost, a generation practically, and it’s one reason I was interested to visit.

The next is because Paul Rusesabagina gave a speech at BYU and I was very impressed by him.

We are also hoping that we will be able to do a gorilla safari, with Dian Fossey’s gorillas. (This depends if we can get the permit in time.)

Finally, it’s because my research showed it’s one of the safest countries in Africa. Safety in a country is actually of prime importance to me. Not only for obvious reasons, but also because as night owls we like to walk around when it’s late, and people in safe countries are generally much friendlier than those in crime-ridden ones.

Rwanda is the safest country in East Africa. I suppose it’s technically Central Africa here, but you hear about Kenya and South Africa as the countries most people visit—and these countries have extremely high rates of violent crime, muggings, and kidnappings. It baffles me; people wouldn’t hesitate to visit Buenos Aires, when I know of no person who has visited the city without being violently threatened, often with a weapon—yet, they wouldn’t dream of going to Rwanda because of its tragic history or Morocco because of fear of terrorism or China because it’s Communist. It’s all about what’s in vogue, I suppose—and Buenos Aires and South Africa are more comfortable/developed than Kigali, sure, but not safer.

Jacob and I base our choices on statistical likelihood of something happening. We’ve been very lucky so far, but honestly, America (outside of the suburbs) is a much more dangerous place than almost any place we travel because of its gun/drug/crime problems.

So, yes—Rwanda. It’s environmentally conscious: orderly, with clean streets, and plastic bags are illegal. It’s slightly boring, even. The downtown area consists of a few shops and one mall that’s nearly all foreign currency exchange booths (and one fantastic, huge, Walmart-style store where you will find every expat in town)

Basketball is Rwanda’s favorite sport, and Jacob has already trained their national team. Here he is getting phone numbers of some local players:

This is the extent of the tiny national gym.

That said, there are a few uncomfortable reminders of the past.

There are men with machine guns on every corner at night, and Hutus and Tutsis look so clearly different even I can differentiate between them. Hutus are shorter, squarer, darker. Tutsi women are thin and elegant, and Tutsi men are tall verging on gaunt. And we see people constructing things with machetes, which gives a little shiver down my spine because that was the weapon of the genocide as well as the cause of Dian Fossey’s murder.

Rahul’s requests

2011-02-18T11:04:00.001-08:00

I tutored Rahul, the sharpest boy at Daya Dan, for the month we were there.

He made me a list of countries which Jacob and I should visit, including dates.

He asked me to sign and date the document, and to give it to Jacob to sign and date as well.

He also asked me, when I went home to America, to see if there was anyone who could be his tutor for longer, more than a month. He doesn’t like going without tutors, and he doesn’t like switching to new ones all the time. He wants a permanent tutor.

My heart broke a tiny bit for him, so I’m passing the message on:

Rahul, age 14, very smart, would love a permanent tutor.

While I was there this time, another girl came back from Japan who had visited when I was in Calcutta in May. She missed the boys and had to return. So you see, the boys at Daya Dan are very special. It’s not just me who thinks so. Many of the volunteers who visit return again and again. Come and see for yourself.

Jacob came with me one day and was fascinated by the repetitive hand movements one of the blind boys does (wave the hand, touch the nose. Wave the hand, touch the throat). He sat there and tried to mimic it, and the head nun came and watched him do it. Jacob was oblivious anyone was watching him. I burst out laughing when he realized Sister Jonafa was watching him copy the handicapped boy. No offense taken; it was pure inquisitiveness on Jacob’s part.

Happy birthday Mom

2011-02-13T00:07:00.001-08:00

Mom’s birthday is February 13 so I will do a birthday post for her because we are leaving for Rwanda and I don’t know if we’ll be able to talk on the phone.

When I think of the three things that are most important to my mom, I think of family, the gospel, and music.

As time passes, I realize how much sacrifice it takes to become a mom as I contemplate the step myself. My mom truly devoted herself to our family. She tried (and succeeded) to cultivate an atmosphere that was fun and uplifting. She instilled in us a desire for education and to work hard in school. She is always just a phone call away if I need anything.

When I am a mom one day, I hope my kids will be able to say the same.

My mom lives a life very much striving to be close to Heavenly Father. I have never doubted her sincerity. I don’t know how many times as a child I walked in to see my mom praying on her knees.

When I am a mom one day, I hope my kids will be able to say the same.

My mom is probably the most talented person that I know. Actually, I think of her as a creative genius. Although I have not chosen to pursue a full time music career, I will always be grateful for the joy in musical expression and for the ability to be instantly useful when entering an LDS Church building. Really music is an amazing gift that brought me the ability to be hard working, independent, and grasp difficult concepts. I know music is a legacy worth sharing.

When I am a mom one day, I hope to share the gift of creating music with my kids.

I think those 3 things are a wonderful legacy to leave. My mom and I are very different in some ways, but I love and respect her and hope she knows I am grateful for her.

This is the day Mom drove the 350Z across the country because I didn’t know how to drive a car with a shift stick!

Morocco Revisited

2011-01-31T07:07:00.001-08:00

And our Indian programming will now be interrupted for a Moroccan announcement…

More than any other place, people ask for recommendations about visiting Morocco. So I’m going to put the information I sent to a friend on here:

My husband and I spent about 6 weeks in Morocco. I have a couple of negative posts about it.-- But that was because we were there for so long in the hottest time of year and during Ramadan. The people were a bit grumpy during Ramadan. It was also my first experience in a developing country, so the dirt and flies and heat and everything got to me a bit. Now I think I could handle it better since we've been to India. Plus you'll be there in a cooler time of year.

These are the cities we were in:

Ouazazarte: a small town in southern Morocco, we stayed here for a month: http://www.dartuzzalt.com/index.html. It's family run and very nice. The town has a movie set museum and a kasbah. It's very calm and desert-y.

Taroudant: We couch surfed here. If you want a bit of culture it's a great idea to stay with a local. I'm friends on Facebook with the English teacher we stayed with if you want me to get you in touch with him. His name is El Habib.

Marrakesh: The stereotypical Moroccan city that you don't want to miss (with the monkeys and snake charmers) they are extremely aggressive and rude here though. The traffic is nuts.

Rabat: A beach town and the capital city, a nice place to relax (and the only place I know of with a tiny tiny LDS branch) I have their contact information if you need it.

Fez: The religious heart of the country, there's some amazing shopping to be done here. Well, not that I bought anything, but you can get lost in the maze of shops. The place we stayed had roaches so I wouldn't recommend it, haha.

Tangiers: A lot of Spanish influence, more tourists since it's right next to Spain, some charming architecture.

If you're only there for a few days, I'd recommend a camel trek from Marrakesh which will take you to the kasbah in Ouazazarte and some other pretty areas. Here is a contact from a tour we used that we really enjoyed: paul@hostelsclub.com

and a list of possible tours:

http://www.hostelsclub.com/act_step01_country.php?lang=en&country=41&city=0&mese=10&anno=2010&currency=2&type=15

The Sahara desert is something in my opinion you don't want to miss. It's unlike anything I've ever seen, and riding a camel through it is just awesome.

Oh and as far as safety goes, it's extremely safe. The biggest thing will be if you are a woman traveling alone, you will get harassed a little bit more. Just don't let it faze you and dress conservatively. Do you speak French? That would help enormously.

And the food is very good, you'll be able to try all of the main dishes: couscous, harira (soup) and tagines.

I hope you enjoy it! It's very exotic. The one thing I wish I had bought was the clay pot they cook tagines in. They are very expensive to buy in the States. I wouldn't have minded buying Moroccan clothes but the storekeepers are so dang aggressive there I never was able to do it! Until just recently, that is, where I bought something from the airport in Casablanca while waiting for a flight.

Oh and by the way? Don't eat at McDonald's in any city. Jacob and I and our two friends got hit with food poisoning in two different destinations of McDonald's. (I haven't eaten at McDonald's since.) Actually, don't eat raw salad period in Morocco.

http://www.travellerspoint.com/accommodation/22832-Amour-de-Riad/ is where we stayed in Marrakech. You can book it free on any hostel website. It was very cute. If you go on the tours, a stay in a provided hotel is usually included. We camped out in the desert one night (the roaches were sooo huge. They were living off of camel poo!) There are many tours, as you can imagine, so if you don't find one you like with hostelclub you can do a Google search. They were just the best value that I found.

They use their own currency there. You can bring money to convert, but I'd just recommend using an ATM machine. I forget the name of their currency. I think it's dirham. Something like 7dh to the dollar. If you convert cash you'll be losing money to the exchanger, if you use the ATM you'll just get charged a small fee of about $5.

There are ATMs everywhere so you can get cash as you go...most places won't accept credit cards. I don't know how much you'll need. Depends on how frugal you are, I guess. If you take too big a chunk out, you can always exchange it afterwards--but be sure to do that before you leave Morocco, because it's illegal to take any money out of the country. Also, don't carry all your cash in one place. Spread it out in case something gets stolen. We always just take out from the ATM as much as we can at a time because we stay so long in each place.

This is church information that is probably outdated:

Our address is 44 Rue Chemiere #2, Agdal-Riyad, Rabat.

There is a bus stop near the intersection of Avenue Ben Barka and Al Melia.

My phone numbers are (ask me if you need them).

On www.viamichelin.com, If you plug in Rue Chemiere as the street address and Agdal-Riyad as the city, it gets you very close. There is no Chemiere #2 on any map. The #2 refers to the next street over from the labeled street between Avenue Ben Barka and Rocade Rabat (as labeled on the viamichelin map).

Sacrament will begin at 11 followed be Sunday School / Primary. At 1 pm we will have our weekly pot luck lunch.

I hope you will be able to join us. Will you be coming by train, then by bus?

--Mo Hanners

CHARLES M. HANNERS, SA, DAFC

Deputy Chief, Force Protection Detachment

U. S. Embassy, Rabat, Morocco

Amour de Riad, Marrakech, Morocco - Ratings, Reviews & Bookings - Travellerspoint

www.travellerspoint.com

Indian wedding

2011-01-30T05:27:00.001-08:00

The reason we returned to Calcutta so soon was because Arnab invited us to his wedding.

Arnab is a friend of ours that we met last time we were here. He gave me a gift of earrings (the same ones he gave his girlfriend, he told me) as well gave Jacob and I as a statue of the Hindu elephant god Ganesh for a wedding gift. He would hand me the phone sometimes to talk to his girlfriend, who lived in Mumbai.

Naturally we assumed Arnab was marrying the same girl.

So imagine our astonishment when we came to Calcutta to find out it was a different one!

Because his original girlfriend’s family forbade their union since she was a Brahmin and he only of the warrior caste, it turns out we were to attend an arranged marriage, not a love one.

Somewhat of a sad story, no?

It was an honor to attend, but we didn’t expect the amount of attention that we received. We were invited to all close family functions and were next to Arnab during some of the most important rituals. As always, we are overwhelmed at the hospitality of people from Calcutta.

The rituals included things like lifting the bride and carrying her around in a circle 3 times, having the groom try to spear something with the point of his hat, and incense and burning. While we didn’t know what was going on, neither, we were assured, did the bride and groom.

Sounds like my own wedding, actually.

The ceremony took place at 3 am. We were all so exhausted, but that was the auspicious time for that particular date.

I had no idea astrology was still so important in India until this trip.

The last wedding we attended in India was much more raw. This wedding, the people were more well-to-do, and rituals were performed because it was tradition. Last time, it felt they married that way because they knew no other way.

So I learned it was a huge faux pas to not wear a necklace with your sari. I made sure to wear one at the reception.

The tradition after the wedding is over is for the bride’s friends to bargain aggressively with the groom for him to give them a sum of money for their troubles in helping the bride to prepare for the wedding. Jacob got closer to observe the foray.

I haven’t mastered eating with my fingers yet…nor do I really have any desire to.

They have similar feeding each other rituals to ours

We were also invited to the groom’s family luncheon, the bride’s family luncheon, and gift opening. So honored

The gifts Indians give each other are so cute. Like saris folded into cannons, and a ship with the list of who gets what inside

This little boy made up a rap about us, that began, “Jacob and Kalli ran in a rally…” hilarious kid.

These girls asked for workout advice. It’s really amazing to me the lack of physical education awareness for women. Like women just don’t have much opportunity to be active.

And of course, trays and trays of sweets as gifts from the bride’s family to the groom’s.

It was a great experience and we were glad to get to be a part of it.

One of my regrets is that I didn’t attend more of my own friend’s weddings from back home, and that I didn’t make more of an effort to include my loved ones in my own wedding. So I’m going to try to attend as many weddings as I can from now on.

What makes a nation happy?

2011-01-27T19:25:00.001-08:00

A nation’s level of happiness was most closely associated with health levels (correlation of .62), followed by wealth (.52), and then provision of education (.51). The three predictor variables of health, wealth and education were also very closely associated with each other, illustrating the interdependence of these factors…people in countries with good healthcare, a higher GDP per capita, and access to education were much more likely to report being happy…

Article from Sciencedaily

Something to think about when choosing a charity to give money to, as well as voting on laws in our own country.

And then…

2011-01-27T08:52:00.001-08:00

…and then after my hope to see poverty as not so bad there comes a girl, her voice hoarser and deeper than any girl her age should have, dressed in rags, her hair gnarled, a cut across her forehead. She comes and tugs at my arm and makes motions that she is hungry and looks at my purse and my well-dressed self and begs for money and all the existential questions come back…threaten to overwhelm…why was I born in the circumstances that I was while she will live a life of deprivation, ignorance, and poor health?

I tell her no, accept that there is misery in the world, and walk on. She returns to the gutter where she came from, and I close my mind to life’s injustices, because if I think about her hauntingly big brown eyes too much I’ll lose faith. And I’ll hate that I’m wealthy, and that everyone I know is wealthy, and every single person I am friends with is living a life beyond this girl’s wildest dreams.

The people in India, however, as in Ghana, are so generally friendly, pleasant, and happy, that they make living on the streets seem like a genuinely not-so-bad lifestyle…until someone like this girl comes along and makes my throat feel funny and my eyes start to burn.

The Pink Cross Foundation

2011-01-25T20:13:00.001-08:00

On a forum on Feminist Mormon Housewives, there was a man who wrote a post about how he wished that the women in the Church weren’t so quick to condemn their men about pornography. He said at a dinner party, everyone was clamoring to ask a newly appointed Bishop what his biggest surprise was. His answer was the number of men involved with pornography (he estimated 40% of the men in the ward). The outcry from the women was that it was grounds for divorce on the spot; that it was equal to adultery. This man believed their reaction only fueled the problem, and in a way I tend to agree.

I haven’t ever watched it but I know a majority of Americans do. And they see it as a harmless pleasure. 12 % of all websites are pornographic, and Utah has the highest amount of porn subscription users in the US. I don’t understand why this is, because the LDS Church has been among the most upfront to speak out against it. So it’s a strange irony that LDS men have such a problem with it…But so far, condemnation, hellfire and brimstone hasn’t seemed to cut down on it at all.

I’m not interested in condemning people who use pornography. However, I found this website and I think it would be enough to help people to lose interest in it real quickly:

http://www.shelleylubben.com/

This woman is a former porn star who started a non profit called The Pink Cross Foundation to help women leave the industry. You can read the stories of the women on the site, and all of them are heartbreaking.

Just about every one of the women were sexually molested at a young age.

Many of them had alcoholic fathers.

All of them experience brutal violence in the making of the film.

All of them abuse drugs and alcohol on the set of the movie to get through the pain and shame.

Many of them ran away from home and had no way to support themselves.

Most of them will become exposed to diseases like AIDS and STDs.

Many commit suicide.

All of them feel that prostitution is less degrading. And they return to prostitution where most of them got into the industry, only to come back to porn because they need the money.

It may be a harmless pleasure to watch for an non-addicted person— I’m not here to say. I’m no expert on the subject, though I did speak with a marriage counselor in an Israeli hostel one time who told me, in his experience, the greatest destroyer of marriage today is porn.

I just found this stat:

At the 2003 meeting of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, a gathering of the nation’s divorce lawyers, attendees revealed that 58% of their divorces were a result of a spouse looking at excessive amounts of pornography online.

I just think people should be aware of what kind of industry they are supporting, and what a terrible place these women (and men) are in their lives to make money selling themselves.

Is it just me, or isn’t that enough for the average person to no longer derive sexual pleasure from watching pornography? And knowing this, can people really justify contributing money and time to an industry which destroys so many lives, even if they don’t feel it affects their own?

I’m “preaching to the choir” I’m sure because most people who read this will all agree with me, but I did think this was a new twist to the pornography dilemma that I had never considered.

"Pornography is modern day slavery for thousands of women and the millions of addicts who can't stop clicking.” ~Shelley Lubben (her before and after getting out of the industry pictures)

Return to Daya Dan

2011-01-24T19:15:00.001-08:00

I’ve missed the boys at Daya Dan so, so much.

So it was with great anticipation that I returned to Nimtala Ghat Street.

I took an auto rickshaw to Kankurgachi, then one to Maniktola, and finally walked the length of the road to Nimtala Ghat Street because I was early and needed to pass the time.

A typical scene…

One man on the auto asked me some questions, and after every answer he said, “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much.” I tried not to laugh at his gratitude. The men on the auto started arguing. Their curiosity stemmed from how I seemed to know my way around. It’s true that Calcutta has ceased to astonish me and no longer gives me culture shock. I feel at home.

I had to wait until 3 pm. When I entered, I saw Joy with a straw in his mouth, no doubt stolen from some empty bottled drink. You may remember him from this story.

To my surprise, he ran to me and gave me a hug. A really long, tight hug. And then he ran away again. And he hasn’t interacted much with me since, except to steal a package of biscuits from me, but I have to say it was an incredibly rewarding welcome back. Because Joy isn’t exactly what I’d call affectionate.

The boys haven’t changed. I just sat on the floor with them crowded around me, sitting on my lap, leaning against me, and I know I’m going to have to come back and see these boys again. Again and again and again. I want to make sure they’re well.

Bernard was there. I got to sit and talk with him. He’s in school now. His hair is longer and curlier. He didn’t say “book” or “Kalli” like I thought he would, but he makes a motion of writing to show he wants to study with me.

It’s just a few short weeks I’ll get to spend with them, but this time I will be able to confidently say to them, “I’ll come back.”

Because I know by now that I think about them too often not to.

Going back to Calcutta

2011-01-23T17:43:00.001-08:00

To have returned to Calcutta is both strange and familiar.

It’s not the way I remember it, and I attribute it to four things.

One, the weather is so much more comfortable here in January and it affects everything: now young boys are out playing cricket; people are bustling about with less sluggishness; it no longer bothers me to see someone napping on a sidewalk when it’s so balmy out.

Two, Jacob and I have been in sub-Saharan Africa which is much lower on the scale of human development. Here in India, it is possible to live a posh lifestyle; not so in Accra.

Three, hope and optimism are in the air. People are working hard. There’s a lot going on…Calcutta is westernizing and developing at a fantastic rate. It seems less polluted, less trafficked, less crowded than I remember. Ghana is not changing at this kind of pace. India is supposed to surpass the USA in a few decades. Between China and India, Jacob and I are rooting for India. We think they’d make pretty excellent world rulers.

And finally, my views on poverty have changed.

To feel sorry for someone can mean you are putting them on a lower level than you. It’s slightly supercilious, and as these people don’t pity themselves, I don’t see what business I have pitying them. When I see people sleeping on sidewalks, I remember what Jacob told me about someone he met in Fiji: when given a choice between a bed and the floor, the man picked the floor--he preferred it.

Besides, I envy Calcuttans. Their city’s soul vibrates with mine, and maybe I will live here one day.

8 Fun Things To Do In Vegas

2011-01-22T17:27:00.001-08:00

Las Vegas was an unexpected treat.

I thought it would be trashy, tacky, kitschy, touristy, oversexed: perhaps the Phuket of the US?

Instead, although it was those things in small doses, it was also: clean, fun, convenient, and comfortable. Not to mention the weather was about 10 degrees warmer than Kansas City

1. Stay on the Strip.

We splurged and stayed at Treasure Island for a week because it was close to our business conference.

I thought it would be decorated like a pirate ship inside but really it was just a very comfortable, typical hotel room. The fitness center was the best hotel gym we’ve ever had. And the restaurant food was excellent, too.

There is a a Monorail which gets you from one end of the strip to the other, but I walked it and it’s only an hour or two to do it all, even if you happen to get lost inside one of the massive casinos.

2. Walk the Strip at night…

And you’ll be sure to see plenty of little shows going on outside each of the casinos. This is the volcano show outside the Mirage.

3. Try out a spa.

The gym had plates of fresh fruit, bottled water, and quality equipment. And the makeup lesson I had was really helpful.

4. Visit an exhibit.

This is what would make living in Las Vegas cool, I think. Artifacts from the Titanic are on display at the Luxor. The week of our arrival, there was a technology expo with booths of people hoping to get their newest product designs on store shelves. There’s always something new to see in Vegas.

5. Go shopping.

At all hours of the night, you can walk across the street and there will be stores open. Very convenient for night owls like Jacob and I. You can buy just about anything in Vegas.

6. Go to a night club.

Not something we normally would have done, Clickbank parties introduced us to the Tao and the Wynn night club, which were very swanky and fun to network in.

7. Talk to taxi cab drivers and waiters…

And you’ll meet people from Ethiopia, Eritrea, and Taiwan. The people in Las Vegas come from all over.

8. Go to a show.

Jacob saw the Blue Men, and we both saw a show with some realllly bad rap at the Clickbank afterparty. This is Vegas. The shows have potential to be trashy. Do your research before going. If we would have had time, I would have gone to see The Lion King at Mandalay Bay.

Notice I didn’t say gamble…it’s because I can’t recommend something I didn’t do! Although I had every intention of trying a slot machine, the truth is we were kept so busy I never had a chance. I was feeling very lucky, too! Oh well, there’s always next time…

Las Vegas make over

2011-01-20T04:50:00.001-08:00

Jacob treated me to a makeup lesson at the spa in Treasure Island. Although I’ve had my make up done before, this time I feel like I walked away with some very usable tips that I’ll be putting into practice right away.

I thought I’d share the things she told me, if only to help me remember them for the future.

Skin:

First, moisturize. Then apply a foundation. Powder is not necessary, nor are sponges to apply, but you can use them if you like. You can use your fingers to dot a small amount all over your face.

She, for the first time I’ve ever heard, did not recommend concealer, saying it’s too thick. She uses something called “paint” or just powders her undereyes.

Cheeks:

Next, lightly brush bronzer on the hollows of your cheeks and all over your face for a sunkissed look. You can vary the amount for the drama of the look.

Brows:

You should darken your brows and fill them in with a brown eyeshadow.

Eyes:

I was informed that eyeliner is not a “natural” look, which is what I originally requested, so I told her I want a step beyond natural. She lightly drew around my eye with a pencil, then softened the line with brown eye shadow. Softening the line is really important. It needs to look like it just blends into the eye shadow.

For the lid, she spread a medium light color all over the lid up to the eyebrow. Then she hi-lighted the crease with a darker shade, and put a really light color just under the brow and at the corners. She blended it all so you couldn’t see a contrast between the colors. If it’s too dark or dramatic, you can go over it with a lighter color to soften the look. And if you want the eyes to really “pop” you can put a light color on the lid.

I asked for a trick to help the fact that my eyes are too close together, and she recommended putting a light shade (like white) on the bridge of the nose between the eyes.

You can use two different types of mascara to make the lashes look thicker. Do both the top and the bottom lashes in a back and forth motion to make them look thicker. Because my eyelash curler I got in China broke, I got a tiny one from Sephora to curl and separate the lashes before putting on mascara.

For green eyes, she recommended staying away from blues and pinks and sticking with greens, browns, and purples (which is unfortunate—I have a lot of pinks. Oh well).

Lips:

Stay away from the dark lip liner and light lipstick-it’s too 80s. Here is my new lip shade:

Le Metier de beaute sheer brilliance lip gloss.

If you go with a more neutral color on your lips, you can do more dramatic things with your eyes.

The tools…

The most important thing I learned was choosing the right brushes. I got a new set from Sephora. I don’t know if it’s necessary to pay extra for nice brushes (I could have got similar ones at Walgreens) but I am liking my Sephora brushes quite a lot.

Without brushes, it’s really difficult to blend correctly. I learned the short haired brush is ideal for highlighting, and the eyeliner brush is ideal for adding eyeshadow on top of eyeliner.

This lesson was a great help for a makeup-clueless girl! I really liked it because she made it seem easy to replicate, and most important of all Jacob loved the finished product.

ClickBank shout out from Las Vegas

2011-01-17T23:44:00.001-08:00

Of all the cool things and places in Vegas I only managed to snap a pic with this cracked ole rabbit!

Many of you already know that Kalli and I run our business remotely using talent and manpower from all over the world, which allows us freedom but we don't have much of an "office culture".

Several times a year ClickBank throws us some of the coolest parties ever in some of the most upscale venues in the world. Our friends and fellow ClickBank vendors have become our "office culture" in many ways, and help us to stay motivated and inspired.

It's fun to be spoiled!

This year ClickBank hosted an amazing bash at the Tao on the las Vegas strip. Great food, inspiring company, and the club was a breathtaking backdrop to the experience. I should have taken pics!

If anyone who reads this has some pics of the party please link up in comments.

So instead of some amazing pics of the club he is an anticlimactic photo with this neat lil rabbit in my ClickBank tee at las Vegas airport.

We're now India and it's great to be back here. Hope to have some better pictures soon!

* Please excuse my brevity, this post is from our Iphone.

Location:Las Vegas

Quote for the day

2011-01-11T19:22:00.001-08:00

I am sorry that my recent speeches on Vietnam has cost us your support. However, I feel that war is no longer, if it ever was, a valid way to solve international problems. Even the negative good served by a war against an evil force such as Hitler can no longer be considered worth the costly risk to mankind, for the ultimate weapons of today mean only the destruction of mankind. Man can no longer afford war. We must find a non-violent way to settle the problems of the world.

Martin Luther King

Last day in Missouri

2011-01-10T16:57:00.001-08:00

In case you’re curious, this is what a day looks like when leaving the closest thing to home for a year-long trip out of the country:

8 am Dentist appointment with x-rays and cleaning

9:30 am Gym

10:15 am Post office

10:45 am Back home for a quick shower

11:15 am Doctor’s appointment with Pap smear—fun fun!

1 pm Professional photo shoot in downtown Kansas City for the athletic blog/snag a quick lunch

4 pm Eye doctor’s to return Jacob’s frames

Beauty Brands to stock up on tanning spray

5 pm TJ Max to return a vest and get new black walking shoes

6 pm Dinner

7 pm (Win) a game of Seven Up with the fam

8 pm Arrange flights with dad

9 pm Print out photos for future visas

Make copies of passports and drivers licenses

10 pm Prepare storage and items to be donated

10:30 pm Pack

2:00 am Sleep in preparation for a 10:30 flight, headed to…

new year’s resolutions

2011-01-06T18:19:00.001-08:00

1. To get abs. I don’t need a six pack. A two pack would be okay.

2. To become conversational in French by the time we make it out to New Caledonia this year.

3. To double the followers on our blog.

4. To get as excited about the idea of settling down long enough to incubate children and raise a family as I am about exploring new countries and moving every month.

I honestly don’t know which one will be the hardest.

I just asked to look at Jacob’s list and he seriously has about 20 goals (and, he says, he’s not done yet). Dang, he outdid me. I guess I’ll have to come up with some more.

Okay, here’s one:

5. Get the article writing and Traffic Geyser and customer support for our businesses outsourced and profitable.

Anyone want to share theirs? Or have any tips to achieving any of mine?

Clickbank shout out from Rome

2011-01-04T11:06:00.001-08:00

Clickbank has helped us travel the world and expand our business. Here is Kalli on our apartment balcony in Rome wearing our “The World is Mine” Clickbank tee.

We are looking forward to our Las Vegas visit with Clickbank and the Affiliate Summit. Then we are off to India in mid January.

If anyone is considering expanding the business online comment here, and we can share what has worked for us.

Rundown of 2010

2011-01-02T14:17:00.001-08:00

January: (Missouri and Florida)

We prepared to go to India. We got new passports, mailed in visa applications, incorporated the business, opened 401ks, and overall made preparations for our next year of travel. We got pedicures with the Hillers. We also flew out to Disney World with my family.

February: (Texas)

We visited my parents and helped with some home improvement projects. Jacob and my dad went to the All-Star game with Usher performing and Lebron playing.

March, April, and May: (New Delhi, Agra, Varanasi, and Calcutta, India)

We saw forts, castles, the Taj Mahal, watched cremations by the Ganges, worshipped at the Kali and Jain temples, and attended a Muslim wedding. I volunteered with Mother Theresa’s organization while Jacob trained Olympic athletes in Calcutta.

June: (Phuket, Koh Phi Phi, Koh Yao Yai, and Bangkok, Thailand)

We rode elephants and relaxed on the beach with some friends from Utah. We got a Thai “massa” and fish nibbled the dead skin off of our feet, and we visited Buddhist temples, and now we still speak with a little whine in our voices.

July: (Beijing, China and Atlanta, Georgia)

We fell in love with Chinese cuisine, kareoked with some locals, saw a Chinese opera and acrobatics show, and climbed the Great Wall of China. Then we traveled back to Atlanta to meet with the UBA and I got to visit the house of the author of my favorite book of all time (it kicks Twilight’s butt) Gone With the Wind.

August: (Missouri, Iowa, New York City, and Texas)

We went to a balloon festival with Jacob’s grandparents. We went with Luke, Jacob’s brother, to New York for an affiliate conference. Regan got home from his mission and Kai and Elishia got married. We’re very fortunate we got to be around for those events. Jacob turned 29 and I turned 25.

September: (Idaho, Oregon, and Utah)
We visited Idaho and met with Clickbank, Oregon and met with Bioletics, and Utah and visited family and friends and took my grandparents on a road trip.

October: (Georgia, London)

Jacob filmed a DVD in Atlanta, we visited London on a business trip where our friends Ben and Sally met us for a day, and my friend Meagan from freshman year of college showed me around a bit, and we got our visas for Ghana.

November: (Accra and Cape Coast, Ghana)

We became familiar with Rastafarians, visited former slave forts, walked over a rainforest, and took it easy with the friendly folks in Accra.

December: (Rome, Italy and Texas, Iowa, and Missouri)

We ate pasta, pizza, and gelato with our surprise guest Scott in Rome. We visited the Pope in the Vatican City, saw the Sistine Chapel and the Colusseum, and actually cooked in our kitchen. Then we had Christmases in Texas, Iowa, and Missouri, and rung in the New Year with the Hillers and friends.

2010 was a great year and it raced right by. I know it won’t seem like a year by the time it rolls around for me to write one of these for 2011. It seems strange to look at these pictures when it feels like most of the time we just sat around on the computer and went to the gym. It’s a nice reminder that we did indeed get to see and do a lot this year. I’m grateful to God that He has allowed me to live my dream this year with my favorite person in the world. I am humbled as I realize that 2010 wasn’t an easy year for much of the world. Nevertheless, I hope 2010 has brought you some of your dearest dreams as well.

Happy 2011!

Clickbank Rocks–From Ghana…

2010-12-23T16:10:00.001-08:00

“Our Clickbank shirts sport “The World is Mine”

Clickbank has provided us a platform to run and grow our business from anywhere in the world.

In one sense, we have thousands of employees and resellers, BUT we don’t have to micromanage them, we don’t have to look over their shoulders.

These employees are our resellers / affiliates through Clickbank, who own and operate their own business by reselling quality products of others. It’s a win for everyone.

It’s been fun to get to know their company, and we’re very happy to be with such a progressive, warm and fun group of leaders.

If anyone is interested in how Clickbank can help you start a business… it’s actually really simple so let me know if you have questions.

http://www.clickbank.com

We’ll be posting pics on this category with us one of our Clickbank shirts in different parts of the world, to give a little truth to their tag line “The World is Mine.”

We always get funny looks and comments from the shirts ;P

You know you and your husband have been travelling too long when…

2010-12-15T04:02:00.001-08:00

You visit the Sistine Chapel and say,

This is it?

This is funny

2010-12-10T17:32:00.001-08:00

http://www.informationisbeautiful.net/visualizations/because-every-country-is-the-best-at-something/

I’m thankful for shrimp

2010-12-10T14:49:00.001-08:00

It was around this time four years ago (four? that seems so long ago) that Jacob invited me to his work Christmas party. We were at an awkward stage—should I go on my mission? Should Jacob prevent me from going on one? He asked me out by sending a text: Date tonite, yes or no?

I decided, “Yes.”

That night, there was plenty of party food. As I got a plate together, I turned to Jacob and said, “You know what? I think this is my first time to eat shrimp in public.” “Really?” Jacob replied. “How often do you eat it in private?”

And I swear to you, that is the reason he knew he wanted to date me. He doesn’t even realize it but I’m convinced that’s what won him over. Since then, I have eaten shrimp in public (and, I suppose, private) countless times, but I never stop being grateful for that offhand comment that Jacob found so endearing and hilarious.

I think this might have been for Homecoming, one of our first dates.

I Heart the Italian food pyramid

2010-12-08T16:35:00.001-08:00

In the Italian gym, they have a food pyramid that is posted. It’s different than the American food pyramid. Could this be one reason why there is practically not a single overweight person in all of Rome, despite the pasta, pizza, and gelato galore? Or maybe it’s just because everyone here is a chronic smoker instead.

I love this food pyramid for so many reasons.

1. I’m highly converted to limiting carbs. When I stopped eating so much bread at every meal, my belly fat disappeared. I’m serious, it was like overnight, once I made the decision to limit white bread in particular. I feel like I figured out a secret that probably everyone already knows.

2. Vegetables, fruits, and daily exercise make the foundation of a healthy diet.

3. Red meats are limited.

4. Good fats found in avocados and olive oil are emphasized.

American food pyramid, you are partly the cause of America’s obesity. 6-11 servings of grains per day? You’ve got to be kidding me. Especially since most of the grains Americans eat are of the white, highly processed, high glucose variety.

It’s funny, too, that corn goes in the grain section on the first one, and vegetable one in the American one…

Anyone else think the American one is a bit outdated?

Christmas is coming

2010-11-25T16:27:00.001-08:00

Instead of posting a list of what I’m grateful for, I’m posting what we want for Christmas.

Awful right?

But it’s coming up on Christmas and I’ve learned most people don’t know how to shop for a couple of nomads.

So, here’s a Christmas list for two people who live out of a suitcase.

CLOTHES

What is most important for a travel nomad is for items to be light and to dry quickly. Drying quickly is important because only the US uses driers. Jeans are bad. White is a bad idea; it gets dirty too easily. Don’t get me started on traveling with garments…

You’d think that buying clothes would be a breeze, but the truth is shopping is draining without a girlfriend to do it with. So I always appreciate clothes. Even though I have enough clothes already, if you get tired of seeing me in the same shirts in all my pictures, think of how excited Jacob gets when he sees me in something new.

This site came recommended

http://travelwithkids.about.com/gi/o.htm?zi=1/XJ&zTi=1&sdn=travelwithkids&cdn=travel&tm=84&f=20&su=p974.8.121.ip_p284.9.336.ip_p531.51.336.ip_&tt=2&bt=1&bts=0&zu=http%3A//www.tilley.com/

For both of us,

A fleece vest might be nice. Those would warm up any outfit and not take up a lot of space.

For Jacob

He’d like a new pair of khakis that will dry quickly and a pair of light shorts that are at least to the knee.

For me,

Snug-fitting and colorful is usually good.

Athletic shorts

BEAUTY

This is always a good category because I like to look nice for Jacob.

I’m looking for a good shiny hair product. If you find one you like, I’m open to try it.

Actually, I like to try any beauty product that someone is truly converted to.

TRAVEL-SIZE

This is always a safe category.

Travel sized laundry detergent, toothpaste, etc.

HEALTH

Vitamins, probiotics, etc

WORK

Jacob would like a portable squat flex (Al Hiller), and a portable green screen for videos. And 4 to 6 of the bands:

http://www.flexcart.com/members/elitefts/default.asp?m=PD&cid=143&pid=1618

http://www.flexcart.com/members/elitefts/default.asp?cid=138&m=PD&pid=515

http://www.flexcart.com/members/elitefts/default.asp?cid=138&m=PD&pid=247

http://www.flexcart.com/members/elitefts/default.asp?m=PD&cid=114&pid=3181

ENTERTAINMENT

Any book on the Kindle that you think we would like

WHAT TWO NOMADS DON”T NEED

Little knick knacks, or items to decorate, or plants. We have two suitcases people. That is it.

To be continued…

Here was our Thanksgiving. Jacob dressed the chicken with butter, garlic, and onions, we had mashed potatoes, the first time I’ve ever made those—wow that was like a home comfort food, brussels sprouts with mushroom, parsley, and lemon juice, and Sprite with juice mixed. Sweet and simple and very tasty. Then we ate gelato and strolled around the Colosseum. Then we walked home and saw Scott Nibley standing across the street. Surprise! He’s going to be staying with us for 10 days. Scott is the one we visited in Jerusalem.

Is it true love?

2010-11-21T17:31:00.001-08:00

Within one day of being in Italy Jacob announced that he could spend the rest of his life here.

While I don’t doubt that he loves it, I wonder if it could partially be the change of scene from Ghana, human development: low to…

Rome.

From raw poverty

to polished sophistication

From aggressive sales pitches to anonymity

From piles of trash and crowds of people selling their wares

to cobblestone streets and crowds of tourists at the Trevi Fountain

From outdoor fruits and vegetable stalls and maggots in my couscous

to refrigeration and a kitchen and Carrefour

From all sorts of species of animals

to nothing but well-groomed pets on leashes (except for the odd pigeon or two)

From massive traffic jams to high speed metro

From sweaty tropical heat to borderline cold and rainy, but just right if you bundle up weather.

From a dangerous and precariously attached ceiling fan with only one setting and cold showers to a heater, warm blankets, and hot showers

From getting my nails done in a parking lot

to listening to Nessun Dorma in front of the Pantheon

From a hippie bedroom with dirty floors and styrofoam-stuffed pillows to a classy soft-bedded spacious apartment

From casual security and open doors to quadruple locks in a pickpocket-heavy city…

From a view of our laundry fluttering in the breeze after opening our bedroom door to a view of ancient Roman ruins…

The distance from Ghana to Rome feels like more than only an 8 hour flight. Remembering Ghana puts a smile on our faces though…

So is Jacob really enamored with Italy or is it just that it feels more like home? Does it even matter? As for me, I’m loving cooking again, eating green olives and feta cheese to my heart’s content, NOT eating pizza and gelato to my heart’s content because then I would put on 10 pounds, but allowing myself the odd bite or two, and breathing in beauty.

I can’t believe I’d forgotten how beautiful Europe is. Rome is wonderful.

Goodbye Ghana

2010-11-17T14:53:00.001-08:00

For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ

Romans 1:16

Ghanaians live this scripture and it’s inspiring. And joyful.

We felt like these people truly knew God.

We took some missionaries out to dinner.

This is the Portuguese Church inside the slave castle. Isn’t it sickening to know that all around them was human suffering embodied waiting to be sold into slavery while the pious white people went to church?

Kakum National Forest

Nearly every single white LDS person we’ve met invited us to dinner. We were grateful to get fed American-style meals and see what it’s like to be a senior missionary in the church. Of the four different couples, they had 6, 8, 8, and 9 kids respectively. Wow!

As our time comes to a close in West Africa, I think Jacob summed it up just about right:

“The draw of Africa, for me, isn’t to see any particular sight. It’s to see people living simple lives of faith.”

I couldn’t pity anyone in Ghana. People lived with too much joy. In some ways Ghana has got it together more than any developed country.

It’s not an easy country to visit, but it’s bittersweet to leave.

Indian core exercises – amazing video.

2010-11-15T18:14:00.001-08:00

Never seen anything like this before… amazing.

Do 3 sets of this routine twice per week. j/k

One problem with traveling

2010-11-15T12:32:00.001-08:00

As an addendum to my last post, I see one major problem with my passion:

It doesn’t provide a contribution to the world really.

Now if my hobby were crocheting I’d at least be creating something new, or if it were keeping an orderly house I’d be contributing to my family and civilization. Or even if my passion were playing basketball, like it is Jacob’s, it would be something to do on the side. But traveling right now is full time.

When I was a piano teacher, I had only 19 students. But I know that for 19 people, I was their Piano Teacher, and I’ll play an important role in their memories, as well as hopefully provided a useful skill, for the rest of their lives.

Meanwhile, I meet new people daily here, but most of them are just shallow acquaintances.

As far as I can see it, I’m providing just three small services by traveling:

One, we’re boosting the local economy by visiting.

Two, we’re serving a bit as ambassadors for America, and a little bit, for Mormons, in that we’re helping build good relations with natives in different countries. Kinda like missionaries.

Three, maybe we can share a global perspective with others in some way.

However, if we’re going to do this long term I’ll have to have more motivation than that.

Either we will stay long enough in each place to (one or more of the following)

-Learn a language

-Educate our children

-Hold a calling at church

-Monetize and capitalize and provide a service from traveling

-Build lasting friendships

Or my passion may have to be relegated to the background when Jacob and I have kids, allowed to happen in spurts. Because just to drift for our entire lives, while I would enjoy that, I don’t know that we would have a sort of permanent impact in the world. Is it possible to really make a difference….as a nomad?

I’m afraid of being a passive observer of life all over the world, rather than an active participant in one small corner.

PS Thanks to Jefferson and Erica, we are officially obsessed with playing Scramble on the iPad. We play tons of matches daily. And while I won at first, Jacob has gradually began dominating the game and it’s making him very pleased with himself.

PPS Today Jacob sat down at the piano and sightread some hymns. What the heck?

I learn something new about him every day.

Today, it was that he can learn how to play the piano just by looking sideways at the music. Literally. He looks at it sideways, and he can see if he should move his hand right or left on the keyboard.

26 Reasons Why I Travel

2010-11-10T05:38:00.001-08:00

I realize that not everyone would do what Jacob and I are doing. Traveling is certainly not everyone’s dream.

But it is mine.

It is such an all-consuming passion of mine, in fact, that I stare dreamily at maps of the globe for hours on end. Nothing is on the maps but the countries and sometimes their capital cities. I kid you not.

In college what kept me up at night was that I would die before I saw all the places I wanted to see.

I read about the food in Ethiopia, the languages spoken in Lithuania, the safety situation in Niger, and my mind’s wheels are always spinning, thinking of the best way to get from point A to point B.

Why am I travel-obsessed?

When I first fell in love with travel, it began as an escape. I was trying to run away from myself, but travel can’t always be an escape, because you have to return and what you were running away from will await you.

Now, for me…

1. Travel is the never-ending journey to discovering myself. It provides an ever-changing, expounding vista in which to base my frame of reference to the world.

2. The more I travel, the more I am confident I am living an authentic life. By authentic life, I mean living life the way that I, personally, was meant to live it. This is because I am aware of the many different ways there are to live and I am able to actively choose my way.

3. Travel is like being able to be a child again.

Every morning you wake up and make new discoveries. You learn how to do things you’ve never done before. The language is a struggle. The cuisine is an adventure. And through it all, there are kind strangers helping you. This vulnerability helps for easy friend-making.

4. Traveling is freedom. I am constrained to no place and no possession. I am open to the wind. I could be speaking a different language, sleeping in a different bed on the opposite side of the world tomorrow at my own whim.

5. To travel is to be reborn. When you travel, you have no history, and in a way, no future. You are forced to live in the present. With no schedule and no concept of time, now becomes the most important time of all.

6. To travel is to learn. I love to read and I love school, but travel, for me, is so much more than either of those. It is to no longer view life through the perspective of another, but to experience the world for yourself. It is the ultimate in an education.

7. To travel is to make history come alive.

8. To travel is to have a global perspective, and not to view life in a certain way only because you were raised in a certain town, in a certain country, in a certain religion, in a certain family, in a certain lifestyle.

9. To travel is to have countless choices be made available to you daily.

10. To travel is to realize the meaninglessness of personal possessions when you live from a suitcase.

11. To travel is an education in minimalism.

12. To travel is to be in constant companionship with your loved one. It is learning how to get along when you’re never apart, when there isn’t so much as a wall between you. It is developing a partnership in all things.

13. To travel is to connect oneself to the rest of humanity as you live like others live, where they live.

14. To travel is to be entertained. When you are bored of traveling, then you are bored of the world. To travel is to make even the daily grind, like grocery shopping, an exciting pastime.

15. To travel is to develop compassion and gratitude when you see people from all walks of life.

16. To travel is to laugh at the unexpected, like when you order banku with tilapia and this is what is served.

17. To travel is a lesson in learning to become more open. Open to serendipity, open to surroundings, open to change, open to letting others into your life.

18. To travel is to grow. When life is a permanent journey and the only constant is change, stagnation is not possible. Time is not wasted. Every day has meaning.

19. To travel is to reinforce your faith in the essential goodness of human nature all over the world.

20. To travel is to learn to separate the culture of my religion from the doctrine as I see how it is practiced in other countries.

21. To travel is to gain confidence. This is inevitable when you realize that you could land at any spot in the world on your feet, ready to navigate, to find a place to stay, to get money, to make friends.

22. To travel is to learn patience, to realize that efficiency is not the ultimate goal of life. That there is time enough to live.

23. To travel is to be irresponsible at times, to throw caution to the wind, to accept there is danger even in being at home, so why not live?

24. To travel is to change your personal history. It’s to see your past through different lenses as you realize the benefits and limitations of the culture you were born in.

25. To travel is to see beauty in unexpected places.

26. To travel is to learn to love and to tolerate the wonderful differences of others.

I can’t imagine ever tiring of travel. Traveling is breathing.

It is my passion.

Now here’s where I hope to get feedback…from anyone and everyone reading this…

If you had unlimited money and unlimited time, as did your family, what would you do? Where would you live? How would you spend your time? What would a typical day be like? What would your standard of living be? What would be different than the way life is right now?

Many of you would not become nomads like Jacob and I. So what would you do? What is your passion?

Being able to describe your dream may be the first step to making it a reality.

Have you ever wondered…

2010-11-04T05:05:00.001-07:00

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to stay in a hippie village overlooking the sea in a community of Rastafarians?

You have?

Well, I’ll tell you.

It’s called Rising Phoenix Magic Beach Resort and it’s run by a man who renamed himself Phoenix. A short, balding man with knowing blue eyes and a bit of a lisp, who cocks his head when he speaks and who speaks irrhythmically.

When you wake up in the morning, it’s to the sound of waves. Tie-dyed curtains flutter in the breeze.

You feel sticky, because it’s hot. There’s a faint drumming. Always drumming. Ghanaians love music. It’s always happy-sounding music.

You open the door to a view of the Gulf of Guinea, with fishing boats as far as the eye can see. You walk past the signs talking about not littering

and peace and love.

You order breakfast from the vegetarian restaurant.

Maybe you, like Jacob, prefer plantains (sweet fried bananas) with nuts, called keleweli, served with fresh pineapple juice mixed with ginger (heavy on the ginger). Or maybe, like me, you’ll think the drink tastes like soap.

When breakfast arrives, you go out and sit in a private booth to look out at the sea. It may seem private, but it’s not really, because soon people will come up to talk to you. Most of them will be Rasta.

This means they will have dreadlocks and will be smoking pot. They’ll also probably be dressed in red, green, and black and wear knit caps. They’ll talk about “One Love” and they won’t drink alcohol or eat meat, but they will swear marijuana is good for your health. They’ll sit around all day and play on the drum and smoke. It doesn’t smell bad, actually.

Some evenings, the Rastas gather to sell their wares. Maybe someone will approach you like someone approached me, telling you that not everyone can be a Rasta, you have to be called.

“And you have been called,” he says. “Get dreadlocks, read our holy book, and become one of us.”

I notice a white girl with dreadlocks at that point and I don’t think they look very good.

I ask one of them, “Could I become Rasta without having to smoke marijuana?”

His eyes grow big.

“Why do you have to put down marijuana? Would you tell me not to eat an orange? This is natural. Just try it, once. Then you will be able to see Jah (God). These days, governments are trying to tell people it’s bad for the health. It’s not true. It will heal your womb. It will heal your mind. It will heal everything. It will help you to see Jah.”

Late at night, there will be reggae parties. People will gather round, drinking Guiness and doing the reggae dance. The bass will thud in your head until 4 am when the party finally stops. You’ll go to sleep to the sound of the fan above your head, and the waves from the Gulf of Guinea.

And that’s what it’s like to live in a hippie village overlooking the sea in a community of Rastafarians.

Hmmm

2010-11-03T09:31:00.000-07:00

I think the girl I just got my nails done with here in Ghana may be a prostitute.

Not sure what to think!?

Is there any reason I should not be friends with a prostitute? I can't think of any.

Prescriptions are not just for medicine

2010-11-02T07:19:00.001-07:00

A sort of contrasting viewpoint from some of my other posts…I have to agree with a lot of it. Jacob and I wonder about our classifications of “developing.” Developing towards being like the US? Is that the ultimate goal? It makes me have to decide what is a right for every human. Is food and clean water a right? Is a job? Is education? Is a fulfilling relationship? Is literacy? Is health care? Vaccinations? Multivitamins? Birth control? Privacy? Space? Clothing? Shelter? Freedom? Ability to travel? In the US, all of those are a given. But should it be a given for everyone? What do you think? Which of these are rights?

Please comment on your perspective. What do you think is our role as Americans? What is the role of the US government?

This author is a KIVA fellow. So I guess this is another plug for kiva.org.

PS People always greet me with Obruni too.

Blog: Kiva Stories from the Field - 25 October 2010

By: zerrincetin

Obruni (Often yelled, “Ooobrruuuniii”). A word that meant nothing to me just three short months ago. Now, it is a word that induces feelings of happiness, anger, and indifference all at the same time. In Ghana, a foreigner is called obruni. Really, it is more of a greeting than anything. Admittedly, it took me a while to get used to being called obruni.

While my fellowship is providing me with a fantastic opportunity to learn about microfinance, this obruni example illustrates a part of my fellowship that I equally cherish – Living in a country very different than my own. This is pushing me to be open-minded despite how strange circumstances might seem at times. This openness, in turn, is pushing me to think about things that I had never thought about before. I think a recent experience illustrates this nicely. A very interesting question was posed to me by a Ghanaian. “Do you think my country will ever reach your country?”

This is a challenging question to answer. One that I had to think about carefully before attempting to do so. Where I land on this issue, and similar issues for that matter, is that Ghana shouldn’t be striving to reach my country (Canada, but I think “your country” in this question means any Western country). What is there to reach for? What works well in North America will not necessarily work in Ghana. What works in Ghana will not necessarily work in North America. The standards, ideals, and cultures are different. They’re not better or worse in one place versus the other. They are just different. So why this constant reaching for more?

In so many parts of the world, the Western world is idealized to be a place where there is no hardship, poverty, or conflict. This is not an accurate depiction. It is all relative. Hardship, poverty, and conflict just present themselves in different ways in the West. We tend to categorize the unknown in one of two ways – we either view it as anxiety-inducing/bad or romanticize about the possibilities that it brings. This romanticized view of the West is what I often encounter in Ghana.

I struggle with this view, because I don’t think the life in the West is necessarily better. It’s just different. Things work differently. There are different rules and expectations. There are different cultural values. This romanticized view brings on another struggle for me. From what I observe (And keep in mind that it is a limited 3-month observation), this view of the West as being better is the driving force behind a lot of development work. Undertaking development projects will make countries like Ghana “better”. By definition, if a country is categorized as “developing”, shouldn’t they then be striving to become better in order to be “developed”?

But better according to whom? Certainly better according to our Western values and ideals. But are all of these projects in line with local people’s values and ideals? Do they even care if they have a new school or a new water well or [fill in the blank with project name]? According to their views of the world, will these local people actually be better off as a result of the development projects?

I was told a story of a development project in a remote village. This village did not have its own water pump and the women had to walk two hours just to fetch the water they need. This is absurd! Two hours just to get water? That’s a full-length Blockbuster production. Funding approved, a group of volunteers built a new well in this village. Now, the village women could get the clean water they need much more efficiently. Job well done! Right?

Are these villagers actually better off as a result of this new well? Did they even care about this well to begin with? Well, turns out, the well went unused. The two hours that the women spent getting water was a time to themselves. It was a very social time for them to catch up with one another and a time where they didn’t have to worry about cooking, cleaning, children, etc. According to our Western values, you should avoid wasting time at all costs. However, in other cultures being social and interacting with each other is much more important. I witness this in Ghana all the time. People genuinely take the time to engage with one another. In North America, however, we are often too busy to even respond to a two-line e-mail.

What I want to demonstrate with this story is that sometimes, with projects like this, the funders bring their own ideals and values to a foreign environment. They then prescribe a new reality for the local people to adopt. While I’m sure that this project was well intentioned, the funders’ values of efficiency did not necessarily translate to the realities of this village. I think what’s critical in our interactions with people of other cultures is approaching them with openness and being sensitive not to prescribe our values that might be very different than their own.

The question of whether Ghana will ever reach Canada has taught me two very important lessons. One is that I want to be involved with work that does not prescribe values to the recipients of this work. For this reason, I am proud to be volunteering for Kiva. From what I observe, the loans empower borrowers to make their own decisions without making any prescriptions. Second, whenever I feel culture-shocked or confused, I take a bit of comfort in the sheer fact that sometimes things are just different in Ghana. They are not better or worse, but just different. While this may be more evident while traveling and experiencing new cultures, I think there is room to apply this lesson in my day-to-day when I return to Canada. And I look forward to trying.

Am I high-maintenance?

2010-11-02T06:25:00.001-07:00

West Africa has caused me to want to ask this question. I don’t usually think of myself as high-maintenance. After all, we have ants in our toothbrushes here, cold showers, a bucket for laundry, and no AC and I don’t even mind.

But West Africa is not an easy place to live—maybe it’s the accumulation of it all.

The endless streams of men who want you to come to their shop at the cultural center and buy their artwork.

The way things close without notice, like the gym.

The lack of infrastructure.

The lack of anything to do, really.

The muggy heat—no stores to buy snacks—running out of gum. No place to buy contact solution.

Don’t get me wrong; I like it here. The people are so kind.

But the pace is what really has me shaking my head. People here are soooo slow. Really laughingly slow. If you order a simple meal at a restaurant, it may take 2 hours. If you ask for your change, you may be told “We are too busy. Come back later” as they slowly shuffle around, 3 workers for one customer. If someone is blocking their way, they wait patiently for the other person to move instead of walking around them. Ordering fast food at the mall took 45 minutes. What a slow, slow way of life. If I’d come straight from America, the land of efficiency, I’d probably have a heart attack. As it is, I’ve learned to savor the slow moments in life, but this… life here is S.L.O.W. Peaceful, and slow.

“Don’t Worry, Be Happy”

What Ghanaians do on a Friday night

2010-10-30T08:12:00.001-07:00

Last night, I went to hear the President speak about sports at the football stadium a short taxi ride away. That’s what I was told, anyway, by a security guard who walked me to the gym and proceded to sit and, in a friendly manner, follow me around while I worked out on different machines. Anyway…

That’s not who it was at all. It was The Prophet. Bishop David Oledepo. He called himself a prophet in any event, and the stadium was full of cheering, dancing Africans as he spoke about the grace of Jesus.

I looked around. I was the only white person there. I sat with some people who invited me, and I got some explanations of what was going on. There was a lot of standing up with your hands in the air and shouting “Amen!” and a lot of wiggling around in emotional prayer and a fair amount of just plain dancing and clapping. What were they getting excited about?

The Prophet was telling them that he foresaw a better future for Africa. He said he knew a lot of Ghanaians who wished they were in America. But look at the suicide rate in America—they aren’t any happier for their lifestyle, he said. He promised the Lord would lift them out of their poverty. Everyone here is very religious. It gives them hope.

Life here is so much less drastic seeming than in India, despite Ghana’s lower ranking on the Human Development Index.

Here are some reasons why…

1. Equality. There have been studies done on the happiness of a country being equivalent with the divide between the rich and the poor, between men and women, among race, etc…The more equal the society, the higher the satisfaction of the society. Thus European countries will always rate a higher happiness level than the US. In India, there are so many different levels of people left over from the caste system, perhaps. Here in Ghana, there are only 3 professions: drum maker, artist, or acrobat. I try to look interested every time someone tells me proudly they are one of those three, but it’s hardly a surprise. Most people live a similar lifestyle here.

2. Women have a strong and powerful presence. It shows in the way they carry themselves. It shows in the way they are every bit as much a part of society as men. It shows in their loud voices. I feel like a wimp when I talk with them, to be perfectly honest. It shows in their manner of dress. They are so bold.

3. There is space, and nature. It’s not overpopulated. No one is sleeping in the streets. It seems like people are living like they did long before any white people came and tried to change things. Traffic and pollution are not problems.

4. Things of a private nature, like going to the bathroom, are kept private.

5. Children stay children here. They play, they go to school. The people who come selling odds and ends to the taxi windows in bad traffic are adults, not kids.

6. Ghana is extremely peaceful. It hasn’t been at war in many years, which is unusual for an African country especially. Violent crime is not an issue, nor is terrorism.

So I thought, maybe, that Ghanaians were happy to stay just the way they are. Until last night, when I was reminded, once again, the winning of the lottery that being born in America is.

Which brings me to my final point…

So many countries around the world are waiting on America to help. It may not be fair, and we may not be recognized for the work that we’ve done. Nevertheless, it’s a responsibility.

Please visit http://www.borgenproject.org/

This nonprofit doesn’t request your money. It simply lists different bills addressing international poverty that are placed before the Senate that you can call and voice your support. The website tells you how.

I believe the US government has a greater responsibility for the welfare of other nations than it is currently now exhibiting. Because of ignorance in a lot of Americans who have not traveled to other, poorer, nations, there is often not a lot of support for using tax dollars for international aid. This is where you go to voice your support, to show that as Americans, we accept the responsibility that being the wealthiest nation in the world brings.

Ghana, Week One

2010-10-27T12:14:00.001-07:00

When coming to Ghana, I really didn’t know what to expect. I tried to research it, but the information I found wasn’t adequate. I knew I’d have to go myself in order to get a frame of reference from my own perspective. Would it be as impoverished as parts of India? Would it be developed? Would there be good food to eat, beautiful sights to see?

Well we’ve been here half a week and so far it’s been unlike anywhere else we’ve been.

These are my first impressions so far…

For the most developed city in West Africa, Accra is surprisingly undeveloped.

However, it’s not as undeveloped as Ouazazarte, Morocco.

For some reason, the slums in Ghana don’t bother me nearly as much as the ones in India. There’s slums surrounding the outside of Rising Phoenix Magic Beach Resort where we’re staying.

We’re at the time of year where there aren’t hardly any white people. In the summer, I guess, it becomes overwhelmed with college students coming to do a good deed.

I’d like to volunteer with an organization myself, but of the 20 some odd organizations I’ve emailed, only one has gotten back to me, and it’s for a project that won’t begin until the beginning of December. I’d like to be involved with something, I really would, but it would require greater energy than I presently have (ie, go door to door asking) to find something. If anyone reading has any suggestions, please comment.

No one carries anything in their hands, it’s all on their heads.

This was meant to be the King’s house, but somehow it fell through, so it’s not used for anything. It’s shaped like a typical African stool.

Everyone dresses so vibrantly.

Food

A lot of potatoes. Below is jolof rice from the food court in the mall. It’s flavored with Indian-tasting spices. And… I eat salad here. I eat raw tomatoes here. I have not gotten sick. It’s a miracle. There’s a vegetarian restaurant on site which I love.

Jacob and I have both caught on to the nation’s favorite drink, which is like sweet nonalcoholic beer.

People from the slum dry their clothes on the lawn.

This building is our next-door neighbor.

Jacob got this little boy from Niger, who was cuddling up next to him like they were best friends, some coconut juice.

Internet

The internet situation here is pretty rough. No place has wifi, anywhere. Here we are getting registered for an internet stick. We have to pay per download which means I may be waiting to upload any videos until we leave the country.

Gyms

There are no good gyms in Accra. Zilch. We’ll go to the one at the national soccer team stadium and Jacob says all they have is a squat rack. I think this is going to cut our visit short.

“Do not pee here or you will have to pay 50,000 cedis” this is equivalent to $35019.40. Ironically, this is just outside the slum. You can bet everyone is urinating there.

People

There are many, many people here who seem to want something from us. It makes us doubt people’s intentions. They are extremely friendly. I went for an hour walk and got 3 phone numbers. But do they want my money or my friendship? Only time will tell… Two women that I met wanted to give me an African name. They asked me what day I was born on. I told them I didn’t know. They were shocked. “You don’t know the day of your birth? Was it a Wednesday?” they guessed. “I think it was Saturday.” “Ahh, then your name is Almah,” they said.

The view of the Gulf of Guinea from our place is the best part.

How not to go about getting a Ghana visa

2010-10-26T16:02:00.001-07:00

Okay, so in actuality, I must have done something right because we are indeed here in Accra. The time in London wasn’t the most comfortable however…

So the first piece of advice would be to book your chosen hotel in advance. This may seem obvious, except Jacob and I never do it.

But in London you should do it, because tears of frustration and anger formed after two hours of looking for a place that wasn’t $400/night and nearby the Docklands where our business conference was at.

The consequence?

Stress Less Hostel.

We arrived, chipper and cheerful, in London at about 7am on the day the business conference was starting.

We did get to use American Airlines’ magnificent first class, and in this photo, Jacob is trying to hide how extremely pleased he is to have a desk on the airplane.

We managed to take the Heathrow Express ($50 for our 15 minute ride) into downtown

and then we took the tube to Leyton without any trouble.

Then we walked, and walked, dragging our suitcases and our tired, sticky bodies looking for “Stress Less Hostel” for 30 minutes. We were on a street that looked like this:

Yeah. And no one had ever heard of it, either.

Well, we finally got our phone hooked up and we called, and we found out it was number 37, not 49, and that no, there was no sign marking the doorway whatsoever.

We finally arrived, and were greeted by a Chinese girl who was very short with us. I told her, “This is very hard to find!” And she replied, “No! Not hard to find.”

We ended up staying here an uncomfortable 10 or so days, but it was cheap—for London you can’t get any cheaper than $55/night. And that’s because it was probably illegal.

It was uncomfortable because (guess)

A) it was dirty

B) it was pile on all your clothes and get under the covers cold

C) the Chinese girl, when told how cold it was, said “The heat is working.” lies!

D) it felt like we were staying in a random stranger’s house

E) All of the above

Hostels can and should be a pleasant experience, but it’s places like this that can give the industry a bad name.

Anyhow…

In case any of you get a Ghana visa in London, let me make it easy on you because it’s hard to find the information online.

First. find an internet cafe and print out the form. You just need two forms/person. Make sure you do this before you go because there aren’t any forms there. If you don’t, there’s an internet cafe way at the bottom of the hill and you’ll have to walk up, walk down, and walk back up the hill again.

Second, affix one passport-style photo to each form.

Third, make up contact information for hotels in Ghana. Use real hotels, but it doesn’t really matter if you are staying at them or not.

Fourth, I had my bank statement and itinerary but they didn’t ask to see it. Nor did I have return plane tickets, which they did ask to see, but it wasn’t a deterrent.

Fifth, you have to have proof of yellow fever innoculation.

Sixth, go to Highgate Hill at Archway tube station (consulate is open Monday-Friday, 9:30-1). It’s on your right, about 20 minutes up the hill.

Check in and be ready to race up to the front when they call your number, because they will skip you if you’re not there immediately. I was skipped.

They said online it takes 4 days but it took a week for us…repeat step #6 to pick them up and you’ll have some shiny new visas. If you ever get the whim to go to Ghana. Why you would, I don’t know. We hardly know ourselves.

This is how we entertained ourselves for a week:

I met up with Meagan who was in my freshman year LDS ward. She very kindly showed me around a bit. I got to see original copies of Alice in Wonderland, the Quran, and the Beatles lyrics along with Harry Potter’s train platform

The iconic clock Big Ben

Then we met up with Ben and Sally, our favorite British friends (we’re not antagonizing anyone out there, are we? I’m pretty sure they’re our only British friends) and great travel partners. I look forward to meeting up with them in different spots around the globe years in the future!

We hit up the Modern Tate museum where we saw classics like a room full of sunflower seeds

Then I suggested we go to Portobello Road. The reason I suggested this was because of guilt.

You see years ago, when my dad, Kai, and I went on our trip to London, Kai’s only request (besides eating out at Pizza Hut daily) was to go to Portobello Road (thanks to the movie Bedknobs and Broomsticks) and I quashed—overruled—his idea. It made him very grumpy but I have this way of getting what I want. I have felt guilty ever since, so I wanted to go so he could at least have pictures of what it looks like.

What it looks like, is a market with antique clothing along with lots of shops.

Our final night we actually stayed inside the airport in something called a Yotel.

You pay by 4 hour increments. So convenient—you can be at the terminal for your 6 am flight without having to worry about a thing. One awkward thing, was that they gave me the key to a room and I noticed as I settled in that the trash was unemptied and the bed was made kinda funny, but I thought that was the way they did things. Shows how used I am to crummy hostels, but anyway about 10 minutes in as I was all snuggled up in bed they knocked on the door and told me I was in someone’s uncleaned room! Haha. They made me hot chocolate to make up for it.

Post on Ghana coming soon.

Mormon Women Project

2010-10-20T09:05:00.001-07:00

After I found this website, I think I stayed up and read just about every single profile. The project is all interviews of women who have lived lives different than the stereotypical LDS woman. I find it refreshingly honest and a testimony-booster. It is now bookmarked.

Two of my favorites:

http://www.mormonwomen.com/2010/09/15/a-citizen-of-the-world/

Her intellectual bent (she’s a trustee for NPR) resonated with me and her sense of humor made me smile

http://www.mormonwomen.com/2010/05/26/finding-refuge-in-the-saints/

she survived the Cambodian Pol Pot regime with some heart rending stories

Also profiled is an LDS woman who is married to someone of a different faith, an LDS woman whose former mission president husband became entangled in embezzlement, the creator of the blog Seriously So Blessed, a celebrity hairdresser whose sister overdosed on heroin, a woman who chose to have only one child and the ramifications in our culture, a woman who decided not to get married and moved to Ghana instead…

Go. Enjoy.

Speaking of Ghana, we should be getting our visas tomorrow.

september

2010-10-20T08:41:00.001-07:00

Some photos with what we’ve been up to.

Cousin Ashley’s bridal shower

Best on-the-road recipe yet

Uncle Louis’s birthday party with the amazing trombone cake

Seeing a mini-Kirsten with a personality all her own was so much fun

So I didn’t get the blue and green memo…

Jessica from Vienna study abroad in downtown Provo

With the UBA making a DVD for The Jump Manual in Atlanta

Working conditions on the road for a couple of tech nomads.

2010-10-15T04:18:00.001-07:00

Hello, it’s Jacob writing here. Sorry for my hiatus in entries here, I’ll try and post a bit more often. Kalli takes such wonderful pictures and posts such great and controversial stuff, so it’s hard to compete! – not that it’s a competition…

So we ended up in one of the most ghetto places yet here in London. All the decent places seemed taken. But, we have hot water, super fast internet, and a gym near by so… who’s complaining!?

Interesting office setups abound on the road for us. Since I never have a “real” office I am always trying to get the best from what I have. Even if it requires using an empty box of pampers baby dry “megas” to setup the ideal office.

Here are a few items of note in my most recent mobile office.

1. Propped up laptop to reduce neck stain.

2. Wireless keyboard so I can prop up the monitor and still get a nice reach to the keyboard.

3. My Ipad is used here as a double screen so I can get a little more monitor space. This is an ipad app called “Maxi Vista.”

4. Amazing logitech “dark field” mouse that works on ANY surface; glass, mattress, belly, hairy leg, you name it!

5. For those tech geeks out there I sport a Sony Vaio Z series with solid state hard drive, RAID drives, lit keyboard for night working, and super duper snuper light.

Our office changes every… 1 – 12 weeks, so I always have to improvise. In this picture I had to “steal” the plastic chair from the hostel next door (over the fence) which is owned by the same folks. Anyways London is very nice, and we’re having a great time.

On camera – Jacob and Kalli’s business featured…

2010-10-06T22:52:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone,

The Jump Manual is being featured here and if you’d like you can watch us being interviewed:

http://www.getrichclick.com/withclickbank/

and here:

http://zacjohnson.com/how-to-jump-higher-and-earn-75000-a-month-in-the-process/

during the Affiliate Summit when we were in New York.

This might be the last time I will ever agree to be in front of the camera. That’s Jacob’s comfort zone, not mine. I prefer to be behind-the-scenes. We are excited and grateful that Clickbank chose to feature us!